Damaged
by labellebeaucoup
Summary: Edison Davis never really got over Olivia. Instead, he spent two years making her life a living nightmare. Now, with Edison in jail, Olivia is struggling to piece her life back together - to move on. Maybe, just maybe, an unlikely force from her past will help her do just that.
1. Fighter

_**Damaged**_

 _ **Chapter One:**_

 _ **Fighter**_

"Hello, Olivia." The voice with the soft, lilting Southern twang forced the tiny brown-haired woman to look up from her seat and give a timid, strained smile.

"How are you today?" The older woman continued, tossing a piece of lint from her tailored, pinstripe suit and crossing her legs in front of her. She held a legal pad in her hands; a black ballpoint pen poised to take notes.

"Tired," Olivia sighed. She didn't want to be in therapy. Not that anyone ever did. She wasn't sleeping well – she hadn't been sleeping well since she had been subjected to the ruthless torture of her stalker. She had lived in terror every waking minute for two years before it had finally stopped.

"Are you still have the same dreams?" That was putting it mildly. There were many dreams. The details of her stalking had never eluded her dreams. A tall, built silhouette in black had dogged her dreams for years.

"Yes." Her voice was small, weak. She didn't like that. Two years of peace should have followed the arrest of the man who had made her life a living hell. But that peace never became a reality. She couldn't move on. Couldn't force herself to move on.

"Why don't you tell me about them?" Her gaze snapped to the woman sitting across from her. She hadn't told anyone about those dreams. Not the whole dream. There was still a lot she had kept from the police.

"They're dreams. They happen," she snapped, dropping her gaze back to the dark carpet. She wasn't here by choice. She had been forced to attend a few therapy sessions at the hospital after the first time she had taken half a bottle of Oxycodone and mixed them with the Jack Daniels she had found in the refrigerator. After leaving the hospital, her parents had forced her to continue her therapy sessions.

"Would you rather talk about your family?" The therapist continued to prod, trying to get something out of her patient.

"What's there to talk about? My mom and dad are getting married this summer. They _finally_ sorted things out and they've decided they want us to be a family. Dad took a position at the high school – he's teaching history and mom…mom's still trying to be an author."

"And you feel that they have all moved on without you." Olivia narrowed her eyes at her counselor. She had trouble admitting that to herself and she didn't appreciate having a stranger voice the truth for her.

"They haven't moved on. They had nothing to move on from." She crossed her arms over her small body and shook her head at the older woman. She never thought of her family as moving on from anything. Edison hadn't stalked them. He hadn't made their lives a living nightmare. They didn't know what that paralyzing, every day fear was like.

"But still you feel as if you have been left out of their growth over the years."

"They never went through what I did and to wish that they never continued their lives while I have been wallowing in self-pity would be selfish." Olivia's temper flared at the assumption. That was the one thing she disliked most about therapy. She hated having someone think that they knew exactly what she was going through: exactly what she was thinking.

"Have you talked to your friends about your feelings?" The therapist decided to change topics. Olivia was becoming defensive and she knew that if they continued down that path, it would be yet another long, pointless session with nothing new to report.

"I'd rather not bombard them with my problems." Elizabeth, always the academic of the group, had thrown herself into graduate school the minute she was accepted and she rarely returned to Hampstead. Quinn spent all of her time with Huck, touring the country. She didn't care much for the small, quaint town that was Hampstead. Abby had been the one to shock everyone by staying in Hampstead, attending George Washington, and coaching the local high school swim team.

Yet Abby was the one that Olivia went to with her problems. The two girls understood one another better than Olivia ever thought they would. Abby had grown up with an abusive stepfather and had never fully gotten over the years of her own torture. It felt good to have someone to voice her fears to; someone who reciprocated and felt the same as her.

"Have you been getting out of the house with any more frequency?" When Olivia first started her sessions, she had admitted that she rarely left her home. She was too scared to. Even with her tormentor gone, she was afraid that something would happen to her. Her therapist had suggested that she gradually spend less and less time at home.

"I had coffee with Abby at the Café on Monday."

"That was two days ago. Anything else?"

"No."

"Olivia," the older woman's sigh racked her body, "I think you can do better than that."

"No, I can't."

"You need to push yourself."

"Everyone keeps telling me to push myself, but no one knows what I have been through." Olivia stood from her seat, snatching her bag from the floor and stomping out of the room. She glanced at her watch on the way out. 3:45. Fifteen minutes longer than she had ever stayed in a therapy session. She rubbed her eyes; if she wasn't careful, this therapy thing would grow on her and she would find herself staying the whole hour.

She exited the warm office to the sunny sidewalks and pulled her scarf a little tighter around her neck. The crisp, autumn wind was beginning to replace the summer heat of the month before. Her heels clicked against the cement as she walked toward the Café. This was almost becoming routine for her. She left her session early, got herself a cup of coffee and then loitered in front of the building until her father picked her up.

 _Ding._

The two high school boys behind the counter looked up at the sound of the bell over the door. She pulled her navy blazer tighter around her body when the tall blond began eyeing her. She walked with a purpose to the counter.

"What can I get you?" The boy grinned and flipped his hair. Olivia tried to suppress her grin. Was that supposed to impress her?

"A tall, two-pump vanilla, non-fat foam latte," she raddled off, watching as the boy nodded and told her what she owed. She pulled the cash from her purse, paying before stepping to the side to wait. She crossed her arms as she watched the kid stumble about in an attempt to fill her order.

"Olivia. Long time no see." She turned at the sound of a man's voice and narrowed her dark eyes.

"Hello, Jake." She wasn't his biggest fan and she didn't care if he knew that.

"How's your mom?"

"That's none of your business."

"Ouch. That's harsh."

"Jake, I really don't feel like doing this with you."

"What do you feel like doing?" She felt herself gag at the suggestive way he moved his eyebrows.

"Why don't you just show your workers how to make a latte so I can get out of here?" Jake's head turned to the counter where the blond kid was struggling to find the lid to fit Olivia's cup.

"Got it," the kid called in triumph, a goofy smile crossing his face. Olivia shook her head and grabbed her cup from the counter, turning and stalking out of the establishment.

"Whoa." Her heart fluttered at the familiar voice as she flung the door open, nearly hitting the man on the outside in the chest.

"I'm sorry," she breathed, stealing a glance at his face from under long lashes.

"No problem, Olivia." Her name sounded good, _right_ rolling off his tongue.

"Well, sorry," she mumbled again, feeling her cheeks turn bright red as she turned toward the direction of her therapist's office.

"No big deal. You look good." He always said the right things at the wrong time.

"You too, Fitz."

"We should catch up some time."

"We should."

"I'll give you a call."

"Um…okay." She smiled, a smile that barely caused the use of her face muscles before heading back down the street, sipping her terrible latte. She came to a stop in front of the therapist's office and sighed. With one more glance back to where Fitz stood, she placed her hand on the door and flung it open.

* * *

 **A/N – I swear; chapters will get longer. I'm in the process of moving things around in stories, finishing stories, and getting started on ideas before I loose them. As always, thanks for reading – G x**


	2. Dive

_**A/N –**_ _ **I want to give a very special shout out to my fantastic beta for this story: Tamarral. As always, thank you to all of my readers, as well. – G. xx**_

 _ **Damaged**_

 _ **Chapter Two:**_

 _ **Dive**_

 _Dark. Pitch black interrupted irregularly by lightning flashes. Olivia stood in the middle of her kitchen. Except, it wasn't her kitchen? She furrowed her brows – dark green countertops? Bar stools instead of a kitchen table? It looked like her apartment from her college days. She shook her head – why was she here? She hadn't lived in her apartment for two years. She'd moved out when she was twenty, a month before they…arrested Edison. She frowned. It couldn't be…_

 _Ding. Ding._

 _Taking a shaky breath, she looked down at her phone lying on the counter. That wasn't right. She didn't have a phone. Not anymore. Slowly, she reached for the small object, unlocking the screen and hitting the messages app. She dropped the phone when she read the text._

 _ **Visiting Second Street today? It would be a shame if Dr. Rosan's files were sent to your boyfriend. What would he say?**_

 _She wiped her hands furiously on her leggings, trying to rub away the sweat that had gathered on them. The caller id had said 'unknown', but she knew who it was. Her stalker…Edison. How did she know that? She hadn't known he was her stalker until she had already left this apartment and moved back in with her parents. Her heart beat faster in her chest. He knew where she had been? Fitz couldn't find out. That had been the gist of the majority of the threats she had received lately. Ever since Halloween – constantly threats to tell Fitz her secret. A secret she wasn't ready to share._

 _ **Boom.**_

 _The loud crack of lightning barely covered the sound of her door swinging inward, smacking against the wall. The muted thump was all Olivia heard, causing her to nearly jump out of her skin as a loud scream tore from her throat. Shaking, she crept to the edge of the doorway, sticking her head around the open entranceway and staring down the hall. All the lights were turned off, leaving only the quick flashes of lightning to see by. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw her door standing wide open, the lock busted. Another flash of lightning illuminated her apartment and she gasped at the sight of a dark figure entering her bedroom._

 _Holding her breath, she took one step into the hallway, stepping lightly in an effort to cut down the noise. She kept her eyes glued to her bedroom door. Creeping down the hall, she silently prayed that whomever had entered her apartment would stay in her room until she had managed to leave the room. She broke out into a sweat the closer she got to the open door and felt her heart beat even faster, making a steady pounding rhythm in her chest. Reaching the end of the hall, she had one foot nearly out the doorway when –_

 **Beep. Beep. Beep.**

"Ugh," Olivia groaned, slamming her fist on the alarm clock. She sat up, untwisting the sheets from her legs, and rubbed her eyes. That dream had been brutal. Stretching, she swung her legs over the bed and planted her feet on the floor. She wearily padded to her bathroom, turning the water faucet on and brushing her teeth. The minty taste of her toothpaste helped chase away the last remnant of sleep. Once she was finished with her teeth, she brushed her hair and pulled it back before heading to her room and pulling a pair of leggings and a tank top on.

Rushing down the stairs, Olivia stopped by the back door, quickly lacing a pair of sneakers. She looked around as she reached for the doorknob, her breathing pace picking up. She didn't like going out – in fact, she avoided it most of the time. Being outside of her home terrified her. But she missed running and she _needed_ to go for a run after that dream. Her heart pounding, she twisted the doorknob and pulled the door open, stepping outside. The warm breeze and early morning sun felt good against her skin. She tilted her head to the side when she saw her father's car still parked in the driveway. Didn't he have a soccer practice to be at?

"Hey, what are you doing up so early?" Eli Pope called, leaning against the side of the garage.

"Bad dream," she stated, walking to the garage. Eli nodded his head. She had been having bad dreams for a while now and he knew from experience that she would refuse to elaborate. "I'm going to go for a run."

"You're going for a run?" Eli smiled although his shocked tone didn't go unnoticed by Olivia. She didn't leave the house willingly. This was the first time she had been out since her last therapy session. Eli was happy about that.

"Yeah. What are you still doing here? I thought mom said you had soccer practice this morning."

"I cancelled it. Most of my team is gone on a fieldtrip."

"Want to run with me?"

"Sure. Where are we running to?"

"I don't know."

"Let's go, kid."

* * *

"Have you thought about volunteering?" Eli huffed, jogging alongside Olivia through the middle of the town.

"Why?" Olivia questioned, coming to a stop at a crosswalk, waiting for the light to change before continuing across the street.

"It would get you out of the house more. They're looking for a cheerleading coach. I could put in a good word."

"Cheerleading, dad?" Olivia glanced at her father, raising an eyebrow at the suggestion.

"You did gymnastics until you graduated high school."

"That's a little different than cheerleading, but…I guess I can try. No promises though, dad."

"As long as you try." Eli shrugged, slowing as they entered the middle of town. He stopped in front of the Café. "Want to get a drink before we head back?"

"Water sounds amazing." She walked through the door as Eli held it open. They ordered two waters before heading back out and sitting on the bench in front of the restaurant.

"Olivia! I thought that was you." Olivia groaned at the sound of Jake's voice. He couldn't leave her alone. He had been that way since high school and Olivia had always played this game of avoiding him. He didn't know how to leave her alone.

"Jake, I still don't want to do this." She continued sipping her water, keeping her eyes averted, staring out at the street.

"I do," Jake shrugged.

"Jake, leave my daughter alone." Eli stood from his seat, throwing his cup in the nearby trash bin.

"I'm sorry, sir. I didn't see you there." Eli rolled his eyes.

"Olivia, why don't you go ahead and start toward home? I'll catch up in a minute." He waited for Olivia to stand and throw her cup away before she took off in direction of her home.

"Jake," Eli began, wrapping his arm around the younger man, "She's had a rough time. Don't push her."

With that said, Eli took off after Olivia.

* * *

"Have you gotten out anymore?" The therapist questioned, leaning forward in her seat as she anticipated Olivia's answer.

"I went for a run yesterday morning."

"That's great. In town?"

"In town. With my dad." The doctor made a few notes on her legal pad, her pen scratching the surface as she went.

"That's a huge improvement, Olivia. Was there anything about your run that made you uncomfortable? Or that you enjoyed?" It was just like her to probe for more. No matter what Olivia said, it seemed that she wasn't satisfied until every minute detail had been probed.

"There was a guy…"

"Do men still make you uncomfortable?"

"Not _all_ men. I ran into an old…friend after last session. He didn't make me uncomfortable." She thought for a moment. Fitz really _hadn't_ made her uncomfortable. She hadn't thought about that at the time. She had trouble being near anyone of the opposite sex after what had happened with Edison. She hadn't been able to carry much of a conversation with anyone other than her father. Slowly, her therapist had worked on her fears until finally, Olivia had the nerve to at least order in a restaurant from a man or pass one on the sidewalk.

"So this man on your run, he was your friend?"

"Not the one I was talking about. We went to high school together. He always hits on me. I don't like it."

"Have you asked him to stop?"

"Multiple times."

"He doesn't seem to heed your wish to be left alone?"

"He never has."

"Perhaps, for now, you should avoid him," the doctor watched as Olivia's expression turned to one of pure curiosity – that was the first time she had been advised to avoid a situation. "He obviously makes you uncomfortable and he does not heed warnings – for now, any contact with him has the potential to impede your improvement."

Olivia nodded. She now had a valid reason to avoid Jake at all costs – her therapist had suggested it. That may have been the first thing to come out of her therapist's mouth that she was glad to hear.

"Now, about this other man: how do you know him?"

"We met my first year of college. I was just starting law school and he was just finishing. We started dating about a month before he got his J.D. and then he started working at a law firm close to campus so we could stay together."

"It sounds serious."

"It was.

"When did you break up?"

Olivia cast her gaze to the floor, feeling the first onslaught of tears as her eyes started watering. She sniffed, wiping a tear from her eyes. She hated to admit it, even to herself, but she _missed_ Fitz. There relationship had had its ups and downs, but from what she remembered, it had been mostly _good_. She had broken up with him after…after a very traumatic time in her life. Sometimes she wondered if she had jumped the gun – Edison had been arrested six months later, but other times…other times she remembered what had happened, remembered her secret, and she knew that even if Fitz could somehow manage to see past what had happened, _she_ couldn't.

"About six months before they arrested…"

"Why?"

"I…I don't know why." Her therapist nodded. Olivia knew that her doctor could tell she was hiding something, keeping something close to her chest. She knew Olivia was hiding something, but she hadn't pushed her to talk about whatever it was. For that, Olivia was grateful.

"Did the two of you speak when you ran into him?"

"Briefly. He said he'd call me."

"Has he?"

"Yes."

"Have you answered?"

"No."

"Olivia," once more the therapist sighed, "Why haven't you answered?"

"I don't know." That seemed to be Olivia's go to answer when it came to her therapist, although, as in this case, she normally did know. She hadn't answered Fitz's call because she was afraid – afraid of having to walk away from him again and suffering the heartbreak she had once had to suffer. She was afraid he would discover what she had done, what had happened to her and hate her for all of it. She glanced up at the wall - only a couple more minutes left.

"Before your next session, Olivia, I would like you to answer his phone call – or call him back. That's all for today."

Olivia took a deep breath. She wasn't sure she could do that. She still loved Fitz; loved him enough to worry about protecting him. Even if she had to protect him from herself. She stood from her seat, walking toward the door.

"Olivia?" She turned at the sound of her therapist's voice, "You did great today. You stayed for the whole session. I'm impressed."

* * *

 _Rain trickled down Olivia's face, plastering her dark hair to her skin. She could barely see through the downpour; rain was running into her eyes. It stung. Her sides were aching; her breath coming in quick, ragged puffs. She had to keep going. Her feet pounded against the hard cement and she fought to keep her balance. The rain was causing her to slide. She could barely make out the faint glow of the store lights in front of her, but no matter how hard she ran, she couldn't seem to get closer. It was almost as if the storefront was getting farther away. She had to keep going. She didn't know why, but she couldn't stop._

 _Rounding a corner, she slid in a puddle, falling hard against the cement. She cried out in pain, looking at her arm and seeing a large scrape from her wrist to her elbow. The pain was nearly unbearable, but she forced herself to stand. At the first step, she nearly fell again. Not only was blood pouring from her arm, but she had twisted her ankle. It took all her control not to let out another cry._

 _ **Crack.**_

 _Lightning illuminated the sky – and the dark figure standing behind her. Olivia didn't notice the figure. She was examining her arm, touching the tender skin and looking around. She cursed the darkness. She couldn't make out anything in the dark. Glancing ahead, she saw the lights of the storefront. So close, yet so far away. She wondered if she could make it before…before_ _ **whatever**_ _was back there caught up to her. She took one more step, breathing hard as she came down on her hurt ankle, the pain shooting through her body._

 _The figure watched as Olivia slowly, deliberately crept ever further. He grimaced at each pain-filled step she took. He didn't like the though of her being hurt. Casually leaning against a tree, as if the rain did not bother him at all, he continued to watch. He knew that no matter how fast she moved, she wouldn't reach that store. She wasn't_ _ **meant**_ _to reach that store. That would be too easy._

 _Taking one more step forward, Olivia collapsed on the unforgiving sidewalk once more – her body too exhausted to move one more inch. Her ankle_ _ **hurt**_ _. She nearly screamed in frustration. She couldn't continue like this. It didn't matter how much she knew that she should keep moving. It was hopeless anyway._

 _Watching her attitude, knowing that she had given up, the cloaked figure made his move. Silently moving along the sidewalk, he came up behind Olivia, placing one hand over her mouth. She tried to scream, but he was quick to suppress any noise she could make. His other arm wrapped around her waist, hauling her to her feet. Dragging her along, he…_

" **NO!"** Olivia bolted upright in bed, her heart racing. She was drenched in sweat, her bed sheets tangled around her. She struggled against them – still half asleep, she imagined they were the dark stranger, holding her in place. She continued kicking her legs, screaming at the top of her lungs, as her parents entered her room. Her mother was quick to hit the light switch while her father grasped her shoulders, holding her in place.

"Olivia…Olivia! Stop." At the sound of her father's voice, she seemed to snap out of her trance. All of the fight left her body, leaving her limp. Eli pulled the tangled sheets from her legs, thankful his daughter wore a pajama set to bed and nothing less. Reentering the room, Maya handed a Olivia a glass of water which she gratefully took.

"Are you okay?" Maya asked, sitting beside her daughter on the bed as Olivia slowly sipped her water.

"It was just a dream."

"These dreams seem to be getting worse, Liv. Maybe we should call Doctor –"

"No." Eli sighed at Olivia's interruption. She was stubborn. He left the room, coming back moments later with a pill in his hand.

"You didn't take your medication."

"I forgot."

"You can't forget that, Olivia." Maya admonished, watching as Eli handed the pill to his daughter, waiting for her to swallow it.

"I didn't mean to." She shrugged, setting her glass on her nightstand and pulling her legs to her chest, wrapping her arms around them.

"Do you want us to stay in here with you?" Eli offered, placing a hand on Olivia's back.

"No. Go back to bed. I think I'm going to read some."

"Okay, sweetie," Maya leaned forward, kissing Olivia's forehead, "but don't stay up too late."

"I won't. Goodnight mom, dad." She watched as her parents left the room, their mumbled voices carrying down the hall to their room.

Taking a deep breath, Olivia glanced at her phone, laying on her nightstand. She grabbed the rectangular device, unlocking it and opening her messages. She knew she shouldn't, but she had already made up her mind – hitting new message, she found Fitz's name and began to type:

 _ **Are you up?**_

* * *

"Maybe you should speak with her therapist tomorrow? Her dreams seem to be getting worse," Maya commented, climbing back into bed.

"She would never forgive me if I did that." Eli yawned, stretching before he climbed back into bed himself.

"She will. She needs help, Eli."

"I know she does. I don't want to push her – last time we did that, she closed herself off and we ended up spending an entire night in the hospital while they pumped her stomach."

"Don't remind me," Maya shivered. That night she had come home to find Olivia, her baby, laying on the living room floor…motionless…it had been a living nightmare. She still wouldn't allow Eli to carry alcohol into her home and made sure all of Olivia's medications were kept under lock and key – leaving only the amount she was supposed to take for the day on the counter.

"I'll speak to her doctor, Maya, but I'm not sure it will do any good. Last time I spoke to her, she seemed to think Olivia was hiding something."

"Knowing our daughter, she still is," Maya pulled the covers up to her chin, laying her head on her pillow, "Did she tell you she saw Fitz last week?"

"No." Eli whipped his head around to look at his wife. "Did she speak to him?"

"She said they said hi. He was supposed to call her, but I don't know if he did." She tried to stifle a yawn.

"I hope he did. Maybe we should invite him over for dinner. Did he say why he's here?"

"Olivia didn't know, but I have heard rumors that there's a new law firm opening in town…"

"He couldn't stay away, could he?"

"I know, Eli. I hope he's here for her, too. She was happy with him."

* * *

 _ **I am now. It's one. Shouldn't you be in bed?**_

 _ **Couldn't sleep. Did I wake you? I'm sorry.**_

 _ **Don't apologize. There's no reason for that.**_

Olivia's stomach clinched at that text. If only he knew…She tapped her fingers against the glass screen, not knowing what to text. She rested her chin on her knees, thinking. Nothing she could think of seemed like the right reply. She owed him so many explanations. Explanations that she knew she couldn't give voice to. The sound of her phone drew her attention to the tiny screen and another text from him.

 _ **I tried calling you.**_

 _ **I know.**_

 _ **Did you want me to call in the first place?**_

 _ **Try again tomorrow at eight and you'll find out.**_

She exhaled harshly as she sent that text – it was a spur of the moment message and she had clicked 'send' before she had time to regret what she was doing. Her insides twisted as she waited for his response. Why was it taking so long? His other replies had been quick, arriving within moments of her sending her responses. It had been at least a couple minutes since she had sent that text. Her mind raced to several conclusions finally stopping on one: he must have decided not to go through with the trouble that was Olivia. It was logical to her – it hurt, but it made so much damn _sense_. She couldn't offer a fraction of what he could.

 _Ding._

 _ **Tomorrow at 8, then. Goodnight, Livvie.**_

She smilled to herself. _Livvie._ That was his special nickname for her. Other people may call her Liv, but no one called her Livvie except Fitz. Glancing at the time on her phone, she groaned. It was two in the morning. She placed her phone on her nightstand, reaching for her headphones. Slipping them on over her ears, she connected them to her phone and pulled her sheets over her body, laying her head on her pillow. Hitting the play button on her phone, she closed her eyes and focused on her music – hoping that it would prevent any further nightmares.


	3. Everything She Wanted

**A/N - I had to split chapter three and chapter four in two. I didn't want to post too long of a chapter. Thank you all for your reviews. - G.**

 _ **Damaged**_

 _ **Chapter Three:**_

 _ **Everything She Wanted**_

" _I'm exhausted," Olivia tossed her back onto the table and plopped down beside Edison. He twisted to look at her – she wasn't joking. Large, dark bags were prominent against her chocolate skin, drawing attention away from the sparkling brown of her eyes._

" _Trouble sleeping?" It was a question he already knew the answer to just by looking at her. If he had to guess, her sudden insomnia was the result of her latest boy trouble. Not that he knew what the trouble entailed, but Olivia rarely was in a happy, uncomplicated relationship._

" _You have no idea," she sighed, resting her head on her folded arms. She didn't bother pretending to sip the cold coffee he had waiting for her._

" _Which one?" He tried chuckling to cover up the bitterness of his tone. He hadn't meant to say those exact words; they tumbled out before he could stop them. Olivia shrugged, seeming to brush off his tone as she picked at her leggings._

" _Why do you always jump to conclusions and think I'm having boy trouble?" She sounded annoyed – he hated to annoy her._

" _Because…" He bit his tongue, hard. He felt the blood pouring into his mouth and tried not to gag on the coppery taste. She wouldn't enjoy his, 'Because you_ _ **always**_ _have boy trouble' comment._

" _I haven't heard from my boyfriend in a few days." His head snapped to the side, allowing him to stare openmouthed at her. Olivia had a boyfriend? He knew she had a tendency to dangle a few different boys in front of herself, but she was seeing someone?_

" _Since when does my best friend keep secrets?" He tried not to sound hurt. Olivia almost always told him everything that went through her head. It didn't make sense for her to be keeping secrets._

" _When it's the kind of thing she hasn't told anyone?" Olivia shrugged, she sounded like she wanted him to drop it. As much as he wanted to know who the mystery man in her life was, he knew not to push her._

" _Are we still on for this evening?" We were going to see the new Hunger Games movie. He wasn't a fan of the movies, but Olivia loved them._

" _Uh, yeah." She sounded distant as her gaze locked on two girls from one of her classes standing by the glass, double doors. He couldn't remember their names, but knew they had some big project they were doing together._

" _Give me a minute," she said, standing and walking away from the table. He watched as she walked away, enjoying the sight of her shapely legs in the tight skinny jeans she was wearing. Yet another surprise from Olivia. She never wore anything so form fitting._

 _ **Ding**_

 _He almost missed the low shrill coming from the phone laying near his elbow, but the harsh vibration alerted him to its presence. He glanced at the screen, catching a glimpse of the name on the screen before it went black. Swinging his head in Olivia's direction, he placed his hand around her phone. She had her back turned to him – she wouldn't know. Sliding his finger across the screen, he typed the four digit password she had set on her phone and opened her messages. He didn't recognize the name attached to the unread message._

" _Fitz?" he whispered to himself, hitting the message and reading the text. He said he was in New York and wanted her to call him. He must be the boyfriend she mentioned. Strange. She never mentioned him before. There wasn't a day that went by that she didn't mention Jason, the exact definition of egotistical school jock, or Liam – her martial arts teacher. Sometimes she mentioned her friend Abby's brother, Chris, but that wasn't often – she reserved her thoughts for him when he was in town._

" _Really Edison?" He jumped at her voice, loud and angry coming from behind him. In a flash of dark red nails, she snatched her phone from his hands._

" _What did you see?" she demanded, her eyes burning with anger and scanning the text on the screen in her hands._

" _Fitz wants you to call him." There was no use in hiding the truth from her. She would either figure it out or make a scenario in her head that would be worse than the truth. It was best to tell the truth around Olivia._

" _Anything else?" She crossed her arms over her chest, glaring down at him. Her phone started ringing in her hand. One quick glance and she dismissed the phone call – whoever was calling couldn't spare him from her wrath._

" _That's it." She looked like she didn't believe him, but sighed and moved to grab her bag from the chair beside him._

" _You're leaving?" He hated how needy his voice sounded, but he didn't like to spend any time away from her. Olivia almost never thought of him so he took every chance he had to be near her._

" _I have things to do." She dismissed him that quickly and he tried to fight the frown from showing on his face._

" _I'll meet you at the cinema at 8?" He called to her retreating back. She stopped mid-step, turning around slowly to look at him._

" _Sure." She sounded flippant as she walked away. He felt the tightening of his chest at the realization that he had angered her. His breaths were getting shallower and faster as the panic began to set in…_

Bolting upright in bed, Olivia groaned at the sight of her alarm clock. It was only two in the morning. She had barely gotten two hours of sleep. Her gaze fell from the bright red numbers to the large, leather-bound journal on her nightstand – her therapist's idea. She wanted her to keep a dream journal. Reaching for the journal and a pen, she opened to the first page – still blank. It had been a week since she had been given the journal and, although she had nightmares nightly, she hadn't written about a single one. This one was different, though. It had been a while since she had had dreams like this about Edison and she hadn't dreamed from his point of view since the last time they had spoken – when he had vividly recounted his crimes and thoughts in detail for her.

Shuddering, she opened the journal and uncapped her pen, allowing the words to flow onto the page. She wasn't sure she would share it with her therapist – she still wasn't ready to talk about **everything** she had experienced. Some of the things Edison had said…had done…they weren't worth repeating or thinking about. Though she did suppose her brain had a way of forcing her to reflect on that time through her unwanted dreams. She looked at the clock as she finished writing, one page down and about three to five more to go. She knew even if she didn't share what she had written, her therapist wasn't going to believe that she had only had one dream in between their sessions.

Laying her journal and pen back on her nightstand, she swung her legs over the side of her bed and stood up. Stretching, she yanked her pajama bottoms back into place before quietly padding out of her room. She managed to make it to the kitchen, avoiding the squeaky stair at the bottom of the staircase, without waking her parents. Flipping the light switch, she looked at the pill box on the counter. Just as she suspected, she had forgotten to take her Ambien. It was the one pill she had trouble remembering – and the only one that helped her sleep without having dreams. She had been through a slew of sleep aids, most of which didn't even begin to help, until her doctor had suggested the newly experimental Ambien, at least experimental when it came to helping with night terrors. Maya called it Olivia's miracle pill. Tossing the pill into her mouth and chugging water, she quickly swallowed before heading back upstairs to her bed.

In her bed, she switched her lamp off and laid back down. Reaching for her phone, she popped the earbuds in, praying that her dreams would be kept at bay. Hitting play on the glowing screen, she settled back against her pillows and closed her eyes.

" _You weren't answering my calls or texts and Edison offered to take me. I promise I'll make it up to you later." Olivia's breathy laugh at the end of her conversation was carried by the chilly air to Edison's spot by the entrance, getting their tickets. It was obvious that she didn't know he could hear her conversation and it was obvious to him that she was talking to_ _ **Fitz**_ _– whoever that was. In typical Olivia fashion she was ignoring him in favor of another guy – one who probably didn't even know her eye color. He watched as she stood with her back to the building, the bright light illuminating her small frame. She had a bright smile on her face – one that she only reserved for_ _ **them**_ _._

" _That your girl?" The low voice jostled Edison from his thoughts and he turned to see Xavier Collins, a starting center for the Hoyas – not that that meant anything to Edison, standing behind him._

" _She's a friend," he answered, turning his gaze back to Olivia. She was laughing again, twirling some chain around her finger, the silver glinting in the light._

" _Sucks for you man. There's no getting out of the friend zone." His cruel laugh followed him inside and Edison felt his chest tightening with the all too familiar rage. Olivia hadn't friend-zoned him. She was waiting for the right time – like he was. He was sure of that._

 _Edison shrugged the comment off and stalked toward Olivia – careful not to disturb her phone call. The crunching sound of fallen leaves beneath his feet seemed an obvious giveaway to him. Yet Olivia never turned to look at him, ignoring him in favor of the guy on the other line._

" _Ready? The previews are going to end at any moment and we wouldn't want to miss any of this_ _ **amazing**_ _movie." He tried to sound as nonchalant as he could, but it fell flat. She whirled around, the beautiful smile falling from her face and her voice quieting to a whisper as she told the guy on the other end that she would call him back later. She stuffed her phone into her pocket before giving Edison a tight smile._

" _Let's go."_

"Damn these fucking dreams," Olivia groaned, sitting up in bed and squinting at the harsh light streaming through her windows. She hated having them, but she was at least grateful that this last one wasn't the traumatic fare of her typical dreams. Though she knew what was coming – especially if she continued having them from Edison's perspective. A disgusted frown covered her face at that thought – even without the traumatic turn of her dreams last night, just _dreaming_ from Edison's mind was enough to leave her shaking and feeling in bad need of a shower.

Her shower that morning was long, complete with many wash and rinse cycles. She still didn't feel as if she had washed away all the grime she associated with Edison, but she knew that if she had stayed in the shower much longer, her mother would have been beating the door down complaining about her water usage. She had gotten dressed quickly before making her way to the kitchen where her mother was in the process of cooking breakfast. She grabbed a glass of orange juice and slid onto the bench at the breakfast table. Her father was making notes in his planner as he sipped on his coffee.

"You're up early," Eli commented, sparing a glance at Olivia over his glasses.

"I actually slept well last night," she answered. She may have had weird dreams, but she had been able to stay asleep longer than normal. That counted for something.

"That's great!" Maya was always overly enthusiastic anymore when it came to Olivia. At first it had been annoying, but now Olivia had come to terms with it. This was Maya's way of coping with what had happened to her daughter and her way of feeling as if she were helping – keeping a positive vibe that she hoped Olivia would adopt as her own.

"We're having dinner at six tonight…"

"Are we inviting someone?" Olivia interrupted her father. It was odd that he would tell her what time they were having dinner. Normally, it was around six every night although they never were sticklers about time unless someone was joining them.

"Your mom told me that Fitz is in town. I invited him over." Eli watched Olivia for her reaction, frowning at the emotionless look she kept on her face. He had at the least expected a smile from her at his news.

"I know. We ran into each other a couple weeks ago and we've been texting off and on." She smiled at her mother as she sat a plate in front of her.

"Great," Eli smiled. At least she was answering his texts – that was _something_ with Olivia. "He told me he looked forward to seeing you again."

"Cool." Eli and Maya shared a look at the nonchalant response Olivia gave. There was a time, when she had been dating Fitz, that any mention of him would have caused a wide grin to cover her face, alongside blushing and a sparkle in her eyes. It was the happiest her parents had ever seen her and they were willing to do anything to see that happiness again.

* * *

"Have you been writing in your dream journal?"

"I started last night."

"You've had it for two nights. Is the Ambien helping?"

"I still have dreams, but they aren't _as_ bad." She watched as her therapist made notes on the ever present legal pad, her pen scratching across the paper. She popped her knuckles, a nervous habit of hers that typically left her mother cringing, as she waited for the older woman to make a comment.

"You haven't brought the journal," Olivia ran her tongue across her lips, wetting them as she prepared to give an explanation for the missing journal. An explanation she didn't have to give as her therapist continued speaking, "I am going to assume you aren't comfortable sharing just yet. Can you tell me what made these recent dreams less terrifying than past ones? I need to know so I can make the decision to continue treatment with Ambien or if we need to switch to a new medication."

Olivia nodded. Her therapist wasn't normally quite so frank with her. She preferred to gently guide Olivia toward the solution she was looking for – asking questions that pointed Olivia toward the solution herself. But when it came to her medicine…she always made sure Olivia knew the need to speak honestly and openly so they could find the _right_ medication and Olivia was grateful for that. As much as she hated therapy and withheld from her therapist, she _wanted_ to find a solution to her troubles – a solution to make her feel better.

"They were about mine and Edison's relationship before…when we were friends."

"It's been four years since the Campus Mu –"

"Can we not talk about that? I _knew_ them." Olivia shuddered, kicking her slides off her feet and pulling her knees to her chin, wrapping her arms around her legs. It may have been four years since that event had occurred, but she still didn't want to talk about it.

"You're subconsciously revisiting the start of your friendship." Her therapist wisely changed the topic and Olivia nodded. Anything was better than where they had been heading.

"And I'm trying to find any sign of where things went wrong."

"That's good, Olivia."

"They're still disturbing…all from _his_ point of view. It's like I'm watching the dream…watching myself from his eyes. It's…unnerving."

"You once said that he sent you a detailed letter beginning with the start of your friendship up until he was convicted, are you having dreams based on what he mentioned in that letter?"

"I…don't know. He sent that letter two years ago and I burned it after reading it. I guess I could be subconsciously thinking of that letter, but I honestly don't remember exactly what it said." She looked down at her hands, her nails had gotten longer lately. Starting to pick at her cuticles, she waited for what her therapist had to say.

"That's a possibility. Have you spoken to Fitz?" Olivia sighed. Of course she would change the topic to him. They had spoken more about him at their last session and Olivia had admitted to avoiding his phone calls because she feared what would happen if she answered them. She wasn't sure she was ready for a relationship again, despite the assurances from her therapist that she was ready, and she knew that Fitz would want that. He had never wanted to break up in the first place.

"We're still texting every day. My dad invited him over for dinner tonight." She added that last bit as a bit of an afterthought – she hoped it would keep her therapist off her back for a bit. She and Fitz may not have spoken on the phone yet, but they were bound to have a conversation this night despite how much Olivia attempted to stall the inevitable.

"That's…better than I could have hoped for," A quick glance at the clock confirmed that they were out of time, "Try having a conversation with him tonight. And have fun, Olivia."

* * *

"Do I look okay?" Olivia asked, twirling in front of her mother in a white sundress.

"For the fifth time, you look beautiful," Maya grinned, wrapping her arm around her daughter's shoulders. She was happy that Olivia had finally seemed to show some emotion at the prospective of dinner with her former boyfriend. She had spent a good two hours after her father had brought her home from therapy preparing for dinner.

"You're going to give the poor guy a heart attack," Eli winked, moving toward the door as he heard a light knocking. He returned a moment later with Fitz trailing behind him.

"Hi, Olivia," Fitz greeted, holding a bouquet of Peruvian lilies toward her. Olivia grasped the flowers, inhaling the sweet scent, and smiled. "Your dad said I didn't need to bring anything, but I felt rude showing up empty-handed."

She smiled. He always did ramble when he was nervous. "They're beautiful. I'll find a vase for them."

"Allow me," Maya intervened, taking the flowers from her daughter's hands before shooing the two toward the front door, "It'll be a few more minutes before dinner is ready. Why don't you two enjoy the fresh air while you wait?"

Olivia shook her head. Leave it to her mother to try to play matchmaker. She gave Fitz a nervous smile as she followed him outside. She had debated internally all afternoon over what she wanted from Fitz. Finally, she had decided that she wanted, _needed_ , a friend and Fitz had always been a great friend. She knew she didn't want a relationship – not yet, at least. She wasn't ready for that. Part of her wondered if she ever would be.

"So…" Olivia trailed, laying her hands on the white railing of the porch, leaning over to watch a butterfly flying low to the ground, "Mom said something about a new law firm opening in town."

"I wanted a change of scenery – something _other_ than Washington. I needed to slow down some and this seemed like the perfect place to do that." Fitz stuffed his hands in his pockets, leaning against the corner post, watching Olivia as a light breeze danced through her hair.

"Is that it?" She wondered. He wasn't from Hampstead. There was no logic to his choosing the town, out of all the other small towns in the state, to move to and begin a business. No logic other than his connection to her.

"I meant what I said when we broke up."

"Still?"

"Your heart wasn't in it, Olivia. You only broke up with me because you're trying to run from something. Like I told you then, I will give you all the space you need and, when you're ready, you can either chose to tell me what you're hiding, or keep it to yourself. Either way, I will still love you. I _do_ still love you." He shrugged, watching her intently for her reaction. She nodding, tucking a flyaway strand behind her ear.

"Right now, I really need a friend."

"Friends, then." He grinned and she giggled – he always did have an infectious smile. They stood in silence, watching the lazy autumn evening. Olivia started to shiver, the setting sun was taking away the last streak of warmth, and Fitz was quick to wrap his jacket around her shoulders. She smiled in gratitude, wondering what was taking her parents so long.

* * *

"At least they're talking," Eli commented, looking out the window at his daughter. She was giggling at something Fitz had said. Watching her with him, it was hard to imagine why they had ever ended their relationship in the first place. While he knew Maya had trouble fathoming the answer to that question, Eli had an inkling of an idea as to why his daughter had walked away. He did, after all, know the little girl who had become his shadow, the perfect, despite her imperfections, miniature version of himself, better than anyone else. She had been terrified and she still blamed herself for what Edison had done – she feared Fitz's judgment. It didn't matter how many times Eli had told her that Fitz would not judge her for what Edison had done, Olivia would not shake that feeling of guilt.

"She's always seemed so happy around him," Maya grinned, elbowing her husband out of the way so she could get a look through the window for herself. She smiled at the sight of her daughter standing a few inches from Fitz, his jacket wrapped around her shoulders. It felt like old times; when Olivia would come home for the weekend to visit, dragging Fitz with her. He was the first boyfriend that Maya and Eli had ever gotten to meet – the first time she had been serious about a boy.

"She still seems happy with him." Eli moved toward the cabinet, retrieving plates and moving toward the table in the dinning room.

"I can't believe he followed her here."

"I can. I'd do the same for you." Eli grinned at the watery smile Maya gave him. They had…issues in the past that culminated in their divorce during Olivia's sophomore year. After two years of being apart, they realized just how much they missed each other and had started secretly dating, only for Olivia to figure their secret out a few months later. Now they were busy planning their wedding for the summer. Olivia had even taken to helping Maya plan.

"I don't want to interrupt their moment," Maya stated, once more looking out the window as Eli came up beside her. Fitz and Olivia were huddled together against the crisp August wind, laughing at some inside joke. Eli smiled as Fitz lifted a hand to tuck a stray piece of hair behind Olivia's ear.

"Go get them. Something tells me that they're going to have plenty of moments like this."

* * *

"That was absolutely delicious. Thank you for inviting me, Mr. Pope," Fitz commented, dabbing at his mouth with the linen napkin.

"Come on, Fitz, we're past that stage," Eli smiled, "You can call me, Eli."

"When is your law firm opening?" Maya inquired, laying her knife and fork on her plate.

"The first of the month. I still have a few kinks to work through. Such as finding a secretary."

"Abby might do it. She's been looking for something closer to home," Olivia suggested, reaching for her wine glass. She had been surprised when she had seen the glass sitting by her place setting at the table, and simultaneously disappointed the moment she had noted the first distinct taste of grape juice. Her mother had taken her therapist's warning about mixing alcohol with her sleep medication quite seriously.

"Sure. Tell her to send me her application," Fitz nodded. Maya smiled at the two – it warmed her heart to see Olivia interacting with someone, _truly_ interacting, once more.

"Olivia will be coaching the high school cheerleading squad this year," Eli announced, inclining his head in his daughter's direction. Olivia blushed, slightly, and bowed her head at his announcement, a blush that deepened upon Fitz's comment.

"Looks like I'll be watching a lot of football this year."

"Our first practice is tomorrow and I've never cheered so…"

"You rocked at gymnastics – just add some words and you're good," Fitz winked, causing Olivia to chuckle.

"Thanks."

* * *

"Thanks for coming by, Fitz." Eli extended his hand toward Fitz as they stood by his car in the driveway. They could see Olivia and her mother through the kitchen window, standing side by side and washing dishes.

"I wanted to see her. Nothing else."

"She needed this. She's been getting…worse. She has these awful nightmares and hardly sleeps."

"I wish things were different between the two of us."

"Maya and I do, too. Why don't you stop by later this week? Talking to you was the closest we've seen her to being happy in a while."

"I like that idea. Thanks." Fitz shook Eli's hand once more before climbing into his car, casting one longing glance at Olivia, and leaving.

* * *

" _Have you seen Jason lately?" Nina, one of Olivia's roommates, didn't stop to acknowledge Edison as she slid between Olivia and him, her questions dangling in the air, waiting for an answer._

" _He must have spent the whole summer in the sun," Olivia replied with that appreciative undertone to her voice – the one she never used with Edison. He wondered if she was still seeing that boyfriend of hers. She hadn't said much since he had seen that text months ago – she was keeping her distance from him._

" _He looks_ _ **fine**_ _," Nina observed, her eyes trailing over to the one guy that Edison could possibly hate more than this Fitz person. Jason Edmistein was arrogant and knew what the girls on campus thought of him. He used that to his advantage. Edison didn't like the way he was returning Olivia and Nina's stares. The glint in his eyes as he looked them over was unnerving. They started giggling when he winked in their direction before heading off to the café line. Of course some girl let him cut in front of her._

" _Jason may be looking fine now, but Liam! He let his hair grow. It's hot," Olivia gushed, informing Nina of her other favorite crush._

" _He's gotten buff," Nina grinned, picking at the food in front of her. They started trading stories about Jason and Liam and their thoughts on the two. Edison let their voices fade into background noise – he_ _ **hated**_ _how infatuated Olivia became with those other men. Men who weren't for her. He followed Jason's movements from his seat – watching as Jason headed back out of the building and in direction of the gym. Without any effort, without any reason, he managed to get Olivia's attention better than Edison could. It was a nightmare._

" _Jason," Edison called after the taller guy. They were in the same history class and when the professor announced that they would be doing group projects, Edison offered to be Jason's partner. He couldn't turn down Edison's offer – he accepted any offer that he thought would get him out of work._

" _Yeah?" Jason stopped midway through the deserted hall, turning around to look down at Edison._

" _Could you stop by my house this evening? Just to set up the basics for the project. I'll do the rest," Edison quickly added when he noticed the annoyed look in his eyes. That was one of his selling points to Jason – he would do the entire project and Jason was free to do whatever it was that he did._

" _Sure." He walked away after that one grunted word, missing the smile that spread across Edison's face._

"Dear God, **no** ," Olivia breathed, sitting straight up in bed and drenched in sweat. As innocent as those dreams had seemed, she knew what was coming next and just the thought was enough to make her consider avoiding sleep for the rest of her life.


	4. Lieblingsmensch

**A/N – Thank you all for reading and for your reviews. And a huge thank you to my beta, Tamarral, for not only proofing this story for me, but also putting up with a, sometimes, forgetful author. – G. xx**

 _ **Damaged**_

 _ **Chapter Four:**_

 _ **Lieblingsmensch**_

"They're pretty good," Abby commented, rubbing her arms as she stood beside Olivia on the sidelines, watching the Hampstead Wildcats score yet another touchdown. Olivia watched as the girls, in their blue and white uniforms, shouted even louder, competing to be heard over the crowd.

"They've always been good."

"Your girls are good, too. I'm proud of you, Liv." Abby wrapped an arm around her friend's shoulders, huddling with her for warmth.

"Thanks." She dug her toe into the soft ground, it was only the middle of September – they hadn't had their first frost yet. The loose dirt gave way to the insistent movement of her foot, staining the white toe of her sneaker a light brown. She buried her hands inside her blue jacket, _Wildcats Cheer_ emblazoned across the back.

"Here." She and Abby turned at the sound of a male voice and Olivia grinned. Fitz stood behind her, a steaming cup of coffee in his outstretched hand. "No promises it's any good – I got it from the concession booth. At least it's warm though, right?"

"That's really all I need. Something to warm my hands," Olivia laughed, taking the warm cup and sighing as the heat seeped through to her hands.

"Hi, Fitz," Abby greeted, smiling at him. The last time the two had seen one another was before he and Olivia had broken up. She had taken Olivia's side, of course, but she had also made it clear that she didn't agree with what Olivia had done. She knew better than anyone else that Fitz and Olivia made the perfect couple – he grounded her in ways that no one else could.

"How's it been, Abby?" Fitz stuffed his free hand in his jacket, sipping at the warm liquid in his cup and wincing at the taste – it wasn't near strong enough.

"Busy."

"Olivia said you decided to go for your J.D."

"I didn't realize you two were speaking again," Abby raised a brow in surprise, sneaking a glance at her best friend who was off to the side, speaking with her squad. "But yes, I am."

"We've been talking a lot. She let me take her out to lunch yesterday. As friends." He shrugged. "She said she was going to mention to you that I've been looking for a secretary."

"She texted me about it last night. When do you need my resume?"

"It would have been nice about a month ago when I first told her," Fitz chuckled, "Her medicine makes her forgetful, sometimes. Anyway, I've been dragging my feet on hiring because I assumed you would apply. It's yours if you want it, Abby. I can text you later with details. It won't be too glamorous at first, but it will open doors and it's close to home."

"You and your sales pitches," Abby laughed, "That sounds good, Fitz."

"Does she talk to you much?" He inclined his head toward Olivia where she stood, rushing her girls toward the middle of the field.

"Some, but she's holding back on something. She's been having nightmares about what Edison did to Jason, Liam, and…" Abby's blue eyes brimmed with unshed tears. It was hard for her to speak about Chris. They had been as close as any brother and sister, and losing him had been hard. Especially when she had lost him the way she had.

" _I_ sometimes have nightmares about what Edison did to them and I'm sure you do, too. If it wasn't bad enough that he…" Fitz shuddered. He could imagine why Olivia was having nightmares. She had _witnessed_ what Edison had done afterwards. The rest of them had only had to hear about it and spend months speculating what the murderer had done after the details of the murders had been released to the families. Abby's family had even decided on cremation for Chris – they didn't want to explain to everyone why an open-casket funeral was out of the question.

"Does she mention any of it to you?" Fitz shook his head at Abby's question. Olivia seemed to avoid all mention of what had happened prior to her return to her hometown. They spent most of their time discussing movies, bands, and, on occasion, Fitz's job. The one time she had deviated from this tried and true list of topics was earlier in the week when she had received a birthday card from the FBI agent that had captured Edison. She had explained to Fitz that he kept in touch – sending Christmas and birthday cards every year.

"She won't talk about it with me."

"I think she's afraid of your reaction if you find out what happened." Abby kept an eye on her friend, still watching the girls she had worked so hard with performing their half-time routine.

"I know what happened."

"You don't know everything. No one knows everything."

"But you know more than anyone else." He said it bitterly; wondering, not for the first time, why she didn't trust him enough to tell him the whole story. He knew she had a special relationship with Abby – she had told him many times that Abby was the only one she was comfortable baring it all with.

"She and I have similar experiences, Fitz. Don't take it personally – she won't even tell her dad. When you have experienced what we have, you blame yourself at first. It took me years to stop blaming myself and, well, Olivia hasn't had that time yet. She still thinks everything that happened was her fault. That there were warning signs and she could have somehow prevented it."

"I wish there was more that we could do."

"We could try to make everything as normal as possible for her. What about throwing her a birthday party? I know she's been against that lately, but it could be fun." Abby shrugged, quickly adding, "You can text me about it later."

"What were you two talking about?" Olivia asked, pushing her way in between Abby and Fitz.

"My new job," Abby said, as Fitz stated, "How amazing the girls were."

"I missed having both of you together," Olivia grinned, sipping at her coffee. Abby smirked at the look on Fitz's face when Olivia scooted to the left, so close they were practically touching. It looked as if it took every ounce of Fitz's control not to close the tiny gap and wrap an arm around her. She shook her head – sometimes love wasn't fair.

* * *

" _Hey, Jason. Thanks for coming over." Edison closed the door behind the taller man, rolling his eyes at the hair flip he was treated to._

" _How long is this going to take?" Jason was always in a hurry – Edison tried not to imagine that this particular hurry was because of the party taking place on the other end of town. The Hoyas were celebrating their most recent victory and, more than likely, Olivia was at the party celebrating with everyone else. At least there would be_ _ **one**_ _less guy for her to ogle tonight._

" _Just a few minutes," Edison answered, heading toward his refrigerator where he made sure to grab the front bottle of water, holding it out to Jason. He watched with barely contained enthusiasm as Jason took his first couple sips._

" _What was it you needed?" He tried not to break out in a smile at Jason's somewhat slurred words and the way he had began to blink – trying to stay awake. Edison glanced at his watch; if his calculations were right, Jason would be out cold in another minute or so. Either way, he was already past any hopes of controlling his arms or legs._

" _Wouldn't you like to know?" He eyed Jason's hair as the heavier man crashed to the floor, out cold. For good measure, Edison kicked him sharply in the ribs, watching for any sign of alertness. There was none. He grinned to himself, it was time to get to work._

"This is bullshit," Olivia grumbled, sitting up in bed and rubbing her eyes. It was a little past one and she needed sleep. She hadn't fallen asleep until after eleven – Abby and Fitz had demanded she allow them to take her to dinner after what they had deemed an exceptionally good performance by her squad. She was exhausted. But she wouldn't go back to sleep. Not with the threat of finishing that dream still lingering in the air. She would _not_ allow her mind to bring those memories back. Reaching for her dream journal, she began furiously writing on the pages.

A little past four, when her eyes were beginning to droop and she feared the thought of sleep, she made a note to stock up on energy drinks. She flipped on her television, deciding on a movie, and flipped her fan on – hoping the cold would keep her up.

 _Edison's grin grew at the feeling of the warm liquid covering his hands; the stickiness making it difficult for him to separate his fingers. At first, he had done this in a bid to make Olivia like him more, and that was still his goal, but now…now that he had taken a knife and began cutting away at the top of Jason's scalp…he found that he_ _ **liked**_ _what he was doing. It was tough work, cutting through skin and, in some cases, bone, as he freed Jason's hair from his body. Olivia had commented on his hair on more than one occasion – she thought the sun-streaked brown was attractive. He couldn't help but think that if she found it attractive on Jason, she would definitely find it attractive on him._

 _Afterward, he headed to his room, placing the bloody hair on a mannequin. Fingering the thick hair, he smiled to himself. It had gone a lot smoother than planned. Although now, he supposed, he really should clean the kitchen before anyone stopped by. That was the one part he found he did not like. Although it was fun, to him at least, playing with a handsaw as he made sure there was no part of Jason left to be discovered. After having used a gallon or more of bleach and destroyed several towels, he heaved two heavy trash bags outside, tossing them in the large cans by the side of the road._

 _His hands were sticky and his white shirt was stained red, but he didn't want to shower or change just yet. He liked the feeling, the reminder of what he had just done. With a sadistic grin, he headed back to his room to admire his handiwork and plan his next move._

"I have to find something to keep me awake." Olivia looked at her alarm clock. Five. At least it wasn't too early to get up.

* * *

"Any more dreams?"

"Yeah…this time about Jason," Olivia answered, securing her journal tightly in her arms. She had brought it to this session, but still had not made up her mind about sharing its contents.

"He is the one…"

"The first one Edison murdered. The one he scalped before dismembering and throwing in the trash," Olivia stated. Only the remorse in her wide eyes betrayed the matter of fact tone of her voice. Even before Edison had described his crimes for her, filling in detail the news had failed to mention or simply didn't know, she had been obsessed with what had happened to her friends. She'd read every news article and watched every report on the murders. Jason's had been the first, but had been reported last when Edison had confessed to all the murders around campus. They had never found his body. For months, his friends had had to live with the thought that he had been abducted or had ran away – his case had been treated as a missing person, of course.

"You two were close?"

"Not really. He was just a friend. We were in the same circles. Greek life tended to do that. But we weren't that close."

"It's still painful for someone you knew to have been…"

"Yeah," Olivia interrupted, clearing her throat and wiping a stray tear from her eye. She didn't want to continue speaking about what had happened to Jason. As hard as it was to think about that, she knew that if her dreams continued, Chris would be the next she dreamt of, and his death had been a lot more devastating than Jason's. She had known Chris since she was a kid, when she and Abby had first struck a friendship. Losing Chris had been like losing a sibling of her own.

"Olivia, I think we are making a breakthrough here. If you would continue to speak of this; continue to allow your brain to revisit what happened, we may be able to –"

"No."

Sighing, her therapist knew when to let the topic drop. Olivia would only flounce out of the room if she continued pushing – something that hadn't happened for weeks now. She decided to change topics, "Have you gotten out since we last spoke?"

"I have practice scheduled on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Fridays are game nights – last Friday was our first game. I went to the dairy bar with Fitz and Abby after." She listed what she had done over the last week, watching as her therapist nodded along with each item and scribbled on her notepad.

"That's great. What are your feelings about coaching?"

"I like it. It gives me something to do and, normally, I dream about our practices on the nights we've practiced." She preferred dreams full of dance moves and chants over dreams about Edison. They were easier to sleep through, although there was the time last week that she had fallen asleep on the couch while watching a movie with Fitz, dreamed about a routine, and ended up punching him in the face. He had taken it all in stride.

"How have your interactions with Fitz been?" Last session, Olivia had spoken about having dinner with him and her family. She'd mentioned, very briefly, the conversation the two had had together and Fitz's declaration that he would wait for her. Her therapist had seemed to believe that she should trust him more than she did. She'd told Olivia that her own feelings of guilt were all that kept her from telling Fitz everything – the misguided feeling that he somehow would blame her for what had happened with Edison. In all honesty, Olivia couldn't see why he wouldn't.

"He's been visiting. A lot. And we text all the time. We're supposed to go for coffee after this."

"That's fantastic."

"The Ambien doesn't seem to be working as well anymore." At first, it had prevented _all_ nightmares. Then it had prevented nearly all nightmares. Now…now she was lucky if she got one nightmare free night when she took it.

"That was a possibility. I told you that when I first prescribed it. How many doses do you have left?"

"Five." Her therapist made a note.

"Next session, we'll discuss changing it to something else. Or possibly upping the dosage."

* * *

"Have fun?" Fitz questioned, his sunglasses obscuring his blue eyes, as he held the door open for Olivia. He had promised he would meet her at the end of her session and she had been happy to see him standing outside her therapist's office when she left the room.

"Therapy isn't fun. I don't know who lied to you," she shrugged, shivering and zipping her jacket when she stepped outside. It was only getting colder as the month went by. Letting the door slam shut, Fitz began walking the sidewalk, Olivia falling into step beside him.

"Does it help, though?"

"I guess." She stuffed her hands in her pockets, watching as the wind rustled the leaves on a nearby tree, a swirl of red and orange floating to the ground. The sky, clear blue and sunny, had only a wisp of white here and there. It really was a beautiful, September day.

"Abby and I wanted to throw you a birthday party this weekend," Fitz said, brushing a stray leaf from his shoulder as they neared the center of town.

"That's unusual."

"What?"

"You guys would normally try to surprise me."

"I know how you feel about surprises, now."

"Thanks."

"Is that approval for the party?" He smiled down at her – he wasn't expecting her to agree. Her dad had said that she hadn't been up for parties lately. He had also given his approval to Fitz and Abby – he wanted Olivia to get back on track with a normal life.

"I have a feeling that even if I say no, you guys would do it anyway."

"No, we wouldn't."

"You can throw the party, Fitz." She smiled, a genuine smile. Sometimes it felt good to be reminded that her friends still cared. She only had one stipulation. "Please don't invite a lot of people."

"We weren't planning to." And they weren't. That had been Eli's stipulation as well as Olivia's. He knew his daughter still wasn't up to the stress of being near a lot of people at once. Crowds made her antsy. It was in the middle of a crowd that Edison had managed to first get his hands on her, and it was in the middle of a crowd that her cries for help were ignored. Crowds didn't make her feel safe. Besides, Fitz was sure the shock of seeing Quinn, Huck, and Elizabeth in the same place would be enough for Olivia.

"Oh God," Olivia groaned, narrowing her eyes at a figure down the street.

"What?" Fitz questioned, trying to see what Olivia was seeing, his alertness going into overdrive. Obviously, whatever she saw stressed her.

"Jake."

"Isn't he supposed to stay away from you?"

"That was my therapist's suggestion, but there's nothing that can actually enforce that."

"Do you trust me?"

"Yeah." That was an easy enough answer for her. Even after what Edison had done, she still trusted Fitz. She couldn't explain; certainly not when she didn't trust any other guy. Something in her heart told her that Fitz would never hurt her the way Edison had – the way she knew other men were capable of hurting her. He wasn't like everyone else.

"Okay." She tried not to smile when she felt him grasp her hand in his. His hand was warm, dwarfing hers, and had the calloused feel of someone who used their hands frequently. She knew that was because he worked out every night. He had done that since she'd known him and he wouldn't wear gloves. He always had callouses on his hands. She tried to resist the urge to move closer to him and his body heat – being with him always felt so _right_. He led her down the sidewalk, closer to Jake. She knew exactly what Fitz was planning.

"Hey, Jake." Fitz yanked Olivia closer, moving his hand from hers and wrapping his arm around her, holding her close to him. She rested her head on his chest. He was warm.

"Hey." The grin on Jake's face disappeared when he turned toward Fitz. Olivia didn't know their personal history and never bothered to ask, but for some reason, Jake _always_ backed off when he knew Olivia and Fitz were seeing one another. She didn't know if it was fear or some other reason, but he would not cross Fitz. She appreciated that.

"How's it been?"

"Good. I'm actually kind of busy right now." Olivia tried not to smile. Jake never did want to stick around when they were with each other. It was almost like it made him uncomfortable.

"Sure. We were on our way to get some coffee, anyway. Good to see you, man." With that, Fitz was once more leading her down the sidewalk and far away from Jake. After rounding the corner, he moved to take his arm from Olivia's shoulders, smiling when she yanked it back.

"Thanks."

"Anytime." He glanced down when she wrapped her arm around his waist. She sure was making this _just_ friends thing difficult.

* * *

"Happy birthday!" Olivia laughed as she entered the living room. Even though Fitz had told her about her party, Abby had still insisted on making it as close to a surprise party as possible. She had to shake her head at the large banner and the balloons that littered the living room. She should have known that Abby would go all out for this party – she hadn't been allowed to throw Olivia one for the past three years.

"Thanks, Abby," she grinned, shrieking when she noticed Quinn standing behind Abby.

"I missed you, too," Quinn laughed, returning Olivia's hug. "Huck and Elizabeth are over there."

"I couldn't have asked for a better surprise. Even if _someone_ said there wouldn't be any." She winked at Fitz, laughing when he stuck his tongue out at her, before following Quinn to the punch table.

"I'd say you two did a good job," Eli commented, patting Fitz's back and watching as his daughter interacted with her friends.

"It was Abby's idea."

"It was your idea to invite Huck, Quinn, and Elizabeth."

"I'm a little surprised myself that Huck and Quinn made the trip."

"They care for her as much as any of her other friends." Eli shrugged, "She has a habit of picking some great friends."

Eli walked away, heading toward Maya. Fitz watched as he mingled with a couple – Olivia's aunt and uncle, if he remembered correctly. Turning around, he grabbed a purple bag from the pile of gifts, the silver tissue paper glinting in the light. It was easy to steal Olivia from her friends and, once they were alone in a corner, he handed her the bag.

"Happy birthday."

Opening the gift bag, she pulled a heavy, leather-bound journal with a lock out. Her name graced the cover. She smiled at the silver locket that dangled across the journal, removing it and placing the journal carefully back in the bag.

"You used to love writing. I thought you could start again and the lock…"

"I love it," she interrupted his rambled explanation of her gift. Turning the locket over in her hand and reading the inscription: _Vouloir, c'est pouvoir_. She smiled at that. It was classic and it meant a lot to her. Above all else, it meant that _he_ thought she could succeed and pull herself out of the difficult situation she found herself in. Taking a breath, she opened the locket, giving it a critical once over. On one side was a picture of the two of them, taken at his graduation. Her arms were around his neck as he held her, both laughing, and his graduation cap rested on her head. The other side was empty.

"When it's time, we'll fill that side," Fitz commented. She tried to stop the tears as she turned for him to place the locket around her neck.

* * *

" _Has anyone heard from Jason?" Elizabeth asked, slipping into the chair beside Olivia. Edison shook his head, an impassive look on his face._

" _No. He was supposed to come to the party last weekend, but bailed. Haven't spoken to him since," Olivia shrugged, picking at the salad in front of her. "Where's Abby? She said she was meeting me for lunch."_

" _I went by her house this morning. There were cops everywhere. Even saw a couple federal vehicles."_

" _What?" Olivia shoved her salad away, standing from her chair. She had her phone in her hand and was almost out the door of the cafeteria before Edison and Elizabeth managed to catch up to her._

" _I should have stopped, but…"_

" _I'm calling her," Olivia quieted Elizabeth, leading the group toward her car. They all gathered in the car as Olivia spoke to Abby on the phone. Whatever she was hearing, she didn't like. Putting the car in gear, she stomped on the gas pedal, speeding off in the direction of Abby's house. She was forced to park nearly a block away; the police still had the house and the road surrounding the house blocked off. Abby practically ran to Olivia, tears streaming down her face._

" _I…I found him this morning. When I came home. I spent the night with…with…" she couldn't finish her sentence, burying her face in Olivia's shoulder and crying – loud, ugly cries._

" _What happened?"_

" _Chris…he's…he's gone."_


	5. Goodbye, for keeps, forever

**Guest: A J.D. is the first of three types of law degrees you can get in the U.S. Where I am from, it is called an LLB (licence de droit).**

 **I have a disclaimer for this story (and all current/future stories of mine), none of my stories will ever involve Olivia being raped. I am not comfortable with that topic. I mention this because there is a very small scene where she** _ **thinks**_ **she was raped. That is all it is and if you continue reading past that scene, you will see that she was never raped.**

 **I will be updating all my stories over this next week. We have been travelling back and forth with a family member as he undergoes chemotherapy/radiation and it has left me with little time to write.**

 **Thank you tamarral for all you do! – G. xx**

 _ **Damaged**_

 _ **Chapter Five:**_

 _ **Goodbye, for keeps, forever**_

 _She had spent all day crying – she was so damned_ _ **tired**_ _of the tears. It was all she seemed to do since moving back in with her parents. Either that or sit in her room, staring at a wall, and wishing that it was all a dream. She was too afraid to leave her home. The FBI had captured Edison a little over a month ago, but that did nothing to make her fear go away. Her paranoia had settled in a long time ago and each time she tried to go out, tried to convince herself that nothing bad would happen, it settled back in – comforting her like a long lost friend and reminding her that someone_ _ **else**_ _could easily take Edison's place. It was hell._

 _Staring out the window, she watched as her mom and dad worked in the flower beds below. The sun was high in the sky – relentlessly beating down on the dry earth. It hadn't rained for days. Olivia liked the rain. The rain was a reason why she_ _ **wouldn't**_ _go outside. She took every reason she could get that didn't involve her own cowardice._

" _I'm so pathetic," she mumbled as she stood from her bed. It was one – time for her to take her medicine. She hated the pills, but her family doctor had decided she needed them after the trauma she had gone through. She padded down the stairs to the kitchen. The medicine bottle stood on the counter. Popping the lid, she tapped the container against her hand, watching as several small, orange pills filled her palm at once. She only needed one, but the thought of taking all that had fallen in her hand tickled the back of her mind. She could escape –_ _ **really**_ _escape. She wouldn't have to worry about Edison – she wouldn't have to testify against him, either. She could finally be free._

 _With shaky hands, she sat the pills on the counter, counting them as she emptied the rest of the bottle. The small pile would be enough – she was sure. Heading toward the refrigerator, she pulled the stainless steel door toward her, locating her father's bottle of whiskey at the back of the top shelf. Pouring herself a tall glass, she placed one pill on the tip of her tongue – chasing the pill with a burning sip of the amber colored liquid. The slow method, taking each pill one at a time and savoring the burning of the alcohol as it slid down her throat, relaxed her._

 _All she had to do was wait, and she had all the time in the world._

* * *

"Olivia?" For once, her therapist was surprised. It wasn't her usual, scheduled time for therapy, yet here Olivia stood, nervously at the door to her therapist's office.

"Doctor Clarke? I was wondering…do you have time to talk?" She fidgeted with the strap of her bag. She had only recently willingly began to come to this office. Coming here when it wasn't her scheduled time was a huge leap for her. She needed someone to talk to, though. Her dream the previous night had been almost unbearable.

"Of course. Have a seat, Olivia." Her doctor glanced at the clock before inviting her in to take her usual seat on the leather loveseat. Dropping her bag to the ground, Olivia slid onto the soft leather. Leaning against the back, she sighed.

"Last night I dreamed about Chris." She closed her eyes as she said that, leaning her head against the back of her seat. She tried blocking the images that were still burned in her head. Why did she have to have that dream?

"Your friend, Abby's brother?" They had touched on this subject before. Briefly, but they had discussed it. When Olivia had first started therapy, her therapist had been given all the details of her past and what had led to the sudden onset of depression and insomnia. Doctor Clarke had seen all the newspaper articles, heard all the first-hand accounts from her parents. She knew that Chris had been like an older brother to Olivia – always around from the moment she and Abby had had their first playdates as children.

"Yes."

"It's close to the anniversary of his –"

"Death? Murder is more accurate. It's close to the date of his murder." Olivia drew her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them.

"What exactly did you dream, Olivia?" Something was off about this session. Something different that Olivia couldn't quite place a finger on. As a tear slid down her cheek and she opened her mouth to begin talking, she realized what it was – for the first time since she had been coming here, Doctor Clarke didn't have her legal pad or her pen. She wasn't taking notes.

"I dreamed about meeting Abby and the cops…everywhere…Abby told us what had happened then. I dreamed about seeing it… _him_ …"

"You never actually saw him, Olivia. That's just your mind filling in the blanks for you."

"Knowing that doesn't make it seem any less real."

"Have you spoken to Abby –"

"No," Olivia was quick to cut her off, "She still doesn't like to be reminded about that and I don't blame her. She was the one who found him, you know? I called her on the way to her house after she was late to class and I found out about the cops. She was hysterical on the phone and when I got to her house…I understood why. Did you know Edison went with us? He acted like he was just as surprised as all of us…God he was such a great liar."

"Edison was a narcissist, Olivia. He took pleasure from deceiving you and your friends. He thought he was smarter, more talented than everyone he came in contact with."

"Maybe he was right." She laid her head on her knees, her eyes fluttering shut. She was exhausted. It didn't matter how long she slept – as long as she was having those dreams, it wasn't a very restful sleep for her.

"He wasn't right, Olivia."

"It doesn't feel that way."

"I know he manipulated you and played games –"

"That's what he was best at. Playing games." She felt the tears beginning to fall in earnest.

"He doesn't have any power over you anymore, Olivia."

"It sure as hell doesn't feel that way."

* * *

"You don't have to do this with me." Olivia stuffed her hands into her coat, balling them into fists as she loitered outside the cemetery entrance. Fitz wrapped an arm around her shoulders, his free hand still gripping the bouquet of lilies. Olivia had insisted on them – they had been Abby's mother's favorites. She slowly inched into the cemetery, Fitz trailing along. At the medium-sized, black granite stone, they encountered Olivia's red-headed friend.

"Hey, Abby," Olivia greeted, coming to a halt beside her friend.

"Hey, Liv. Fitz." Abby's voice was thick, strangled as she forced herself to speak. Olivia didn't say anything else. She withdrew her hands from her pockets and wrapped an arm around Abby, resting her head on Abby's shoulder. She looked at the granite and the name etched into the stone. _Francesca Whelan_. Olivia felt the tears pricking at her eyes as Fitz laid the flowers they had brought on the headstone. Abby's mother had been almost as big a part of Olivia's life as her own mother had been. After Chris's murder, she had slowly drank herself to death. Abby's dad had made the decision to bury his son's ashes with Francesca and it was her grave that they always came to on the anniversary of his murder.

"I still miss her."

"Me too, Abs. Me too."

"Thanks for coming out here."

"I always do."

"Did you drive here?"

"Fitz did."

"Mind if I hitch a ride back? Maybe stop and get something to eat? I'm starving."

"Sure." Squeezing the hand that rested on her shoulder, Abby stepped away from Olivia and started toward the gates, gesturing for Fitz to follow. Olivia liked to have a moment or two alone with Chris and Francesca and Abby understood. She liked having time alone with them, too.

"How's she doing, Fitz?" Abby asked as he held the metal gate open for her.

"She still blames herself."

"I wish she wouldn't."

"You know how Olivia is."

"It wasn't her fault."

"She thinks Chris would still be alive if she'd never talked about him to Edison."

"Edison was a creep. He played himself off as her friend – even _I_ thought he was her friend. She can't blame herself for that."

"Tell that to her."

"You know; you can't keep blaming yourself."

"Abby…" Olivia glanced at her friend as they walked arm in arm down the sidewalk. They were killing time as they waited for Fitz. He had had some emergency pop up with a client and was at his office, working his magic.

"You can't, Olivia. It isn't fair that Edison have someone to help shoulder the guilt – it _all_ belongs to him."

"Chris would be alive if it weren't for me."

"Maybe. Maybe not. Either way, you didn't tell Edison to do it. He made that decision himself and that's why he's in jail, Liv."

"I don't want to talk about it." Abby sighed – it was just like Olivia to close herself off the minute someone tried to explain to her why she shouldn't feel so guilty. Getting her to understand that it wasn't her fault was like running into a brick wall. Abby could only hope that Fitz would somehow manage to convince Olivia otherwise. Which lead her to her next question:

"Why did you ever break up with Fitz, Liv? I know I've asked you before, but you never told me."

"And I'm not going to now."

"Liv…" Abby warned, "It didn't make sense. You were happy. He was happy. We were all convinced you two were going to get married."

"It made sense. It _**makes**_ sense to me."

"You're the only one. Fitz can't even explain it."

"I'm glad he can't."

"Does it have something to do with Edison? Is he the reason that you broke up with Fitz?" The look Olivia threw Abby's way was all the confirmation she needed.

"Stop letting him dictate your life, Liv. Talk to your therapist if you won't speak to me."

* * *

 _Olivia stared at the screen in front of her. Her eyes were tired – she had been up all night researching. The more she researched, the more her stomach churned at the thought of what she was about to do. She had gone through page after page of results on Google. Many of the search results seemed to be mocking her, judging her for what she was about to do. Others seemed almost frivolous about the choice she was making. Very few of the search results had yielded any real information about what_ _ **she**_ _should expect. She hadn't found a reliable one until early in the morning hours and had waited until eight before she called to schedule an appointment._

 _Standing from her computer and stretching, she tried not to look at her still flat abdomen. She never thought she would be the type to give up her child, but she couldn't have this baby. She was still recovering from the week she had spent with her anonymous stalker. She still didn't know who he was – he had worn masks the whole time he had held her captive and had released her after a week. The cops didn't believe her – they thought she had imagined her kidnapping. Whoever he was, he had been careful not to leave a mark on her. Or so she thought as she finally allowed herself to glance at her stomach._

 _She had been drugged most of the time. She could only remember bits and pieces of what had happened and even those few memories were blurry. She hadn't thought anything had been done to her. Then she had received those texts. Texts claiming that she was pregnant – pregnant with her stalker's child. When she had finally gotten over the initial shock of the messages, she had reluctantly taken a pregnancy test only to discover that she was pregnant. From there, she made the decision that she could not,_ _ **would**_ _not have this child._

Sitting up in bed, Olivia wiped the tears from her face. She had been successful in blocking the memories of her abortion, but now they were flooding her mind once more. The pills she had taken and how horrible she had felt while taking them – both physically and mentally. Then the texts she had received later and the grief that she still carried with her. She sighed – Abby was right. She did need to talk to someone.

Getting out of bed and pulling her robe on over her nightgown, she headed toward the window seat in her room and sat on the cushion. Reaching for her phone, she found Abby's number and held the phone to her ear while it rang. Even though it was two in the morning, Abby answered on the second ring.

"What's up, Liv?" Her voice was groggy – she had been sleeping.

"Can we talk?"

"Sure. Do you want me to come over?"

"Um…sure. I'll meet you outside." She ended the call, tossing her phone on the window seat and heading toward her closet to stand in front of her mirror. She pulled the soft, warm purple robe closed around her body and tied the long sash. Quietly, she crept down the stairs and to her front door. Unlocking the door and sliding her feet into a pair of boots, she stepped into the freezing night air. She saw a flashlight across the road and new it was Abby. This was something the two girls had been doing for years – sneaking across each other's lawns at night for secret meetings.

Olivia sat on the cool, wooden swing, kicking her heels so the swing would sway slightly. She wrapped her hand around the chain hanging from the ceiling. By this time, she could just make out Abby's rose-tinged face as she climbed onto the porch, switching her flashlight off. She sat beside Olivia on the swing. Neither woman spoke at first, enjoying the quiet, cool night.

"You said you wanted me to speak to you." Abby jumped slightly, startled by Olivia's voice breaking the silence, and glanced at her friend. Olivia kept her gaze straight ahead into the darkness.

"I don't want you to feel like you _have_ to tell me anything, Liv."

"I don't feel that way. But I think I do need to talk to someone. I've barely handled all the other dreams I've been having, Abs…tonight, I had a dream that I know I can't handle alone."

"Have you told your therapist?"

"I've never told anyone what I'm about to tell you." Taking a deep breath, Olivia finally turned her body toward Abby, looking into her friend's sympathetic eyes. "It's a bit of a long story, so bear with me."

"Okay."

"Remember that week you went to Santa Monica? For spring break?"

"Yeah. When I came back you said you had been kidnapped."

"But no one ever believed me."

"You had bruises and had drugs in your system but no one had reported you missing and you couldn't describe your attacker at all."

"But after they caught Edison, they realized that I _**had**_ been kidnapped that week." Abby nodded. Edison had admitted that he had kidnapped Olivia that week after he had been arrested. He had been charged for that crime, too. It didn't erase the fact that everyone, including the police, had called Olivia a liar for saying that she had been kidnapped at the time, though. "A few weeks after he had let me go, I started getting texts from him. All of them hinted that I was pregnant."

"Olivia…" She held up a hand, stopping Abby from continuing.

"I brushed it off – I didn't think it was possible. Then I missed my period. So, I went to the store, got a pregnancy test, took it, and it came back positive. Even then, I still wouldn't believe it. I took three more, each one positive, before it finally hit home. I decided to have an abortion because I couldn't stand the thought of being pregnant with his baby."

"He _**raped**_ you?! Why wasn't that part of the trial?"

"He made me _**think**_ he had raped me. After the abortion…he sent me footage from the entire week he had kept me captive. He never touched me, other than when he was drugging me or giving me food and water."

"But the baby…"

"Was Fitz's. I killed his baby. _Our_ baby. And I couldn't face him after that. That's why I broke up with him and why it's hard for me to think about being with him now. I can't tell him what I did. He'll hate me."

"He won't hate you, Liv. He'll hate Edison even more, but not you. Edison liked to fuck with people and he took extra pleasure in fucking with you."

"I don't know Abby."

"Just talk to Fitz." She wrapped an arm around Olivia. Olivia laid her head on Abby's shoulder and the two sat there until the first morning light filled the sky.


	6. The Crow & The Butterfly

**A/N – Thank you all for your lovely comments ! I know I've been a little slow with updates – I have gotten completely sucked into** _ **With or Without Prejudice**_ **by A.L. Carrington. It's a fantastic read for anyone who hasn't read it already!**

 **As always, thank you to my amazing beta, tamarral! – G. xx**

 _ **Damaged**_

 _ **Chapter Six:**_

 _ **The Crow & the Butterfly**_

" _Fitz, we need to talk."_ Olivia stared at her phone, rereading the message she had sent over an hour ago. She was beginning to panic, her heart pounding against her chest until it felt like it would burst free of her rib cage. The familiar chest pangs had started minutes ago, feeling as if someone were squeezing her heart in two with each breath. It almost made her wish she weren't breathing. _Almost_.

Her fingers were numb with cold, but still she refused to go inside – to leave her spot on the hard, wooden swing her father had hung from the large, oak tree when she was a child. The slight, steady breeze would have been welcomed in the summer months, but in October, it was a brutal, unwelcome wind. She nearly expected to see snowflakes falling from the overcast sky. Her attention kept returning to her phone – expecting a response from Fitz. Abby had spent a week convincing and building Olivia's courage to confront Fitz with the demons of her past. She was finally ready to come clean with him – to ease the burden on her shoulders and allow herself to heal.

"Olivia, dinner's ready!" She glanced at the doorway at her father's head, barely sticking out into the blistery wind. The warm glow from the kitchen illuminated his features. She sighed, glancing at her phone one last time as the screen lit and her ringtone began playing. She placed a shaky finger to the screen and slid, repeating the motion twice before the screen registered her icy finger.

"I'll be there in a minute, dad," she called, holding the phone in her hand and watching as he slid the glass door shut. Taking a deep breath, she held the phone to her ear, wincing at the cold device, and answered, "Hello?"

"Hey, what's up? Sorry, I just got your text. I was in a meeting with a client." She could hear the jingling of keys from his side and pictured him exiting his firm, locking the door securely behind him and heading to his car. He was probably running through a million different scenarios for whatever case he had just accepted – or declined. It didn't matter with Fitz. He liked to analyze from every angle. It was one of the things she had loved about him.

"It's one of those things that are best to do in person." She twirled on the swing, watching as the rough, brown rope twisted around itself. Her stomach churned as she waited for his response – making her wonder if she really was strong enough to speak to him.

"I'll be at your house in ten minutes. Let me finish locking everything." She could hear the worry in his voice and she didn't blame him. It was unusual for her to text him like that – she kept most things close to her chest and rarely invited him into her world. That decision was more so to protect him than herself. Her world was a dark, uninviting place.

"Okay." She ended the call, standing from the swing and heading toward the sliding glass door. With the jumble her stomach was in, she doubted she would be able to eat, but she knew it would be best to force some food down while she waited on Fitz. Her parents couldn't complain too much if she at least tried to eat.

Ten minutes later, on the dot, her mother escorted Fitz into the kitchen as she pushed her beets around her plate, the duck breast missing the tiniest sliver of meat. She had tried forcing food down her throat, but nothing settled right in her gut. Her apprehension had taken residence in her stomach – leaving little room for food. She watched as her mom fixed Fitz a plate, despite his protesting that he could eat later, and coerced him into a chair at the table. Maya left the room soon after, leaving Olivia staring nervously at Fitz.

"What did you want to talk about?" he questioned. She tried to keep a straight face, to prevent him from knowing just how close she was to falling apart.

"Eat. Then we'll talk."

"I won't argue with that – I missed your dad's cooking." She smiled at that, feeling a bit of her apprehension melt away. He had always been a fan of her dad's meals. When they had been dating, he _never_ missed an opportunity to visit her parents and she often joked that Eli's cooking was the reason. She watched as he dug into the food on his plate. When they had dated, she had made sure that dinner was on the table by the time he got home from work. She felt a twinge at her heart as she thought that he no longer had anyone to do that for him.

"You should eat, Livvie. You look like the wind would blow you away." She felt tears prickling at her eyes at his statement. He always had looked after her – would he continue after she told him the ugly secret she had been keeping? She glanced down at her plate – the beets were an ugly swirl of red, barely recognizable at this point. She stood and carried her plate to the sink, dumping its contents down the garbage disposal and flicking the switch. She cringed at the loud noise as the disposal roared to life, flicking the switch off a minute later, and rinsing her plate. She poured herself a glass of water, sipping at the cool liquid as she waited for him to finish eating. Once he had, and his plate was rinsed, she led him outside – back to her swing.

Perching herself on the hard, cold wood, she dug her toe into the dirt to prevent the swaying motion of the rope and took a deep breath. Fitz settled against the rough bark, putting his hands in his coat pockets. "How much do you know of what happened to me?"

That question threw him off guard. He knew what had happened, of course. He had been present for the whole trial – listened to every testimony and barely restrained himself from cheering when Edison's verdict had been handed down. He had felt that the three consecutive life sentences had been a little too lenient, but had still supported knowing that Edison would spend the rest of his life behind bars. "I know what was mentioned during the trial."

"Then you know about the first time he…kidnapped me and held me against my will." She swallowed, finding it difficult to talk around the lump in her throat – the only indication that speaking of her past with Edison bothered her. Her outside demeanor was hard, focused on hiding any emotion. She didn't like to admit how much he had affected her.

"It was in the trial. I remember being so pissed when I heard that the police hadn't taken your claim seriously." His eyes clouded as he made that statement. She sighed. The way the police had reacted to her accusation of a kidnapping _had_ been unexplainable for her. They had stopped short of calling her a liar when she'd filed the report. It had made her feel miserable, alone, scared, and, above all else, crazy. Sometimes she still felt that way.

"There wasn't any concrete evidence at the time." She repeated the same mantra she had been given at the time – that they would later repeat at Edison's trial to explain their own mistakes. Fitz crossed his arms, shaking his head at her words. She knew there was no use arguing with him – he blamed the police as much as he did Edison for what had happened. "After Edison let me go, he…sent me messages."

"I know, Olivia. Those were in the trial, too." She shook her head, violently. There had been messages given in Edison's trial as evidence – pages upon pages of messages he had sent her with his various threats, but none of them had been the messages sent during the weeks following her first kidnapping. She had pleaded with the judge and the district attorney's office to keep those messages out of the court room. The defense had been thrown off their game a bit when the DA had made a motion to suppress the evidence, but hadn't argued against it – they took any help they could find during that trial.

"Not _all_ of the messages were mentioned in that trial." She pushed her foot against the ground, leaning her forehead against the rough rope as it groaned in protest at being used on such a cold day. Fitz watched her intently, waiting for her to continue with what she had to say. "He sent me messages to make me think that he had…he…that he'd…done things…"

Fitz moved closer to her swing, reaching his hand out to grab the rope and force her to stop. He wrapped his arms around her, allowing her to rest her forehead against his chest as she struggled to find the right words. It was hard to mention what Edison had done – even though he had never touched her like _that_ ; he had sent her through the emotional rollercoaster of believing that he had. She felt a tear slide down her cheek and placed her hands on Fitz's shoulders, shoving against them until she was sitting upright once more.

"Don't," she warned as he moved his hand to her cheek, rubbing at her tears with his thumb.

"What are you so afraid of?" His question held a double meaning – he understood why she was afraid of opening up about her past with Edison. Any normal person would be afraid to relive those memories. He _didn't_ understand why she was afraid of him – of letting him get close to her again.

"Give me a minute, and you'll understand," she sniffled, no longer struggling against him as he crouched in front of her, holding tightly to the swing's ropes once more, "He told me I was pregnant and hinted that it was his. I didn't believe him – I didn't _want_ to believe him. Then I missed my period. I convinced myself I was being paranoid, but after a week, I knew I wasn't. I took _four_ tests and they were all positive."

Fitz's knuckles turned white as his grip tightened around the swing's ropes. She bent her head, telling herself not to reach out to him – that he wouldn't want her to reach out to him. Tears began falling again and her lips quivered. She had to force her voice to work and it barely complied, "I knew I couldn't have his baby. I just _couldn't_. I researched, found a place I was comfortable with, and made an appointment to abort the baby – "

"I'm sorry, Liv. I should have been there for you – I shouldn't have –"

"Don't apologize for my actions, especially without knowing the full story. Your dad was sick, Fitz. I never have blamed you for the time you spent in New York with him." She placed a finger to his lips – shaking her head as he searched her eyes with his, silently pleading with her to allow him to speak. "After the abortion, Edison emailed me files from _that_ week. It took me a whole month to work up the courage to open them. When I finally did open them, they were video files. He had recorded _everything_. I forced myself to watch, waited for the moment that I didn't want to see because I didn't want it to be true – despite the evidence. But it never happened. I watched those videos time after time. I obsessed with finding that moment. It did not happen. Then I did the math – something my brain hadn't allowed me to even think of before when I was terrified I was carrying his child. For Edison to have known I was pregnant when he did…for me to have been as far along as I was…it _couldn't_ have been his."

"Then…" She could practically see the gears turning in his mind as he pieced the story together – including the parts she hadn't said aloud. She no longer tried to hold her tears back – or hide them from him, as she lifted her head to stare into his blue eyes.

"I am so sorry, Fitz."

"No," his harsh tone and fiery look in his eyes made her jump. She understood – she couldn't forgive herself for what she had done and she hadn't expected any more of him. Her eyes darted across the yard – looking anywhere but at him. She couldn't stand to see the anger in his eyes; the anger that was directed at her. Then he continued speaking and she truly allowed herself to break down: "Do _not_ apologize for what that bastard did to you. You have _**nothing**_ to apologize for – he does."

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her to him as her tears soaked his shirt. She briefly wondered if he would be upset that she was ruining his dress shirt, but the rational part of her – the voice in the back of her head that she had refused to listen to for quite some time, told her that he could never be mad over something like that. He stroked her hair and held her in silence until her tears slowed.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you then. I was so…ashamed, hurt, angry, and scared that you would feel the same."

"I would have felt the same, but not at you. Never at you, Livvie." He reached for her hands, rubbing them between hers. The friction between his hands and hers caused her frozen digits to tingle – she really should have worn gloves. He stood from his position, removing his hands from hers long enough to rub his legs – they had gone numb. He winced at the tingling/burning sensation he felt as his legs awakened. Moving through the unpleasant feeling, he reached for her hand and pulled her from the swing, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and holding her to him.

Inside, Eli invited the two to the living room for a card game. She had managed to hide her tear-stricken face from her father as she had agreed to the game. She spent most of the game cuddled up to Fitz, allowing him to rub her back as he bantered back and forth with her dad. It made her nostalgic for the old days. Back when everything had been so simple and pure – before Edison had turned her world upside down. She wasn't ready to admit it to herself just yet, but it felt right.

* * *

She didn't remember falling asleep. She didn't remember going to her own bed, either, but that was where she woke the next morning. She stretched as her eyes fluttered open, enjoying the soft feel of her mattress below her and the cool, silky sheets covering her. She stretched, a satisfied yawn escaping her lips. For once, she didn't feel tired. She was well-rested and she knew why – she hadn't woken up at all during the night nor had she had any dreams. Snuggling deeper under her blankets, she grinned. She felt amazing.

The soft snore beside her caused her to jump ever so slightly and she quickly turned her head. She tilted her head to the side at the sight of Fitz beside her, laying on his stomach with one arm curled under his pillow. How had that happened? Glancing down, she was relieved to notice the nightgown she wore – whatever had led to this moment, she knew she wasn't ready for _that_ just yet. Relaxing against the pillows, she watched as he slept – longing for things to be like they once were. She missed the simplicity of those moments and the domesticity of it all.

"Good morning," he yawned, flipping over onto his back. She smiled at the state his hair was in – sticking up in every direction. It was just as she remembered it always was in the morning. "You wouldn't let go of me after I carried you to bed until I promised I would stay."

"Thanks for that. I haven't slept that well in years." And she really hadn't. She was still shocked by her nightmare-less sleep. She wanted to attribute that to having him in bed with her. Something about him had kept the dreams at bay.

"You were out of it." He sat up, reclining against the pillows. The sheet fell to his waist, revealing his bare chest. She brought her hand up to trace the small, white puffy scar in the center of his chest – the result of a firecracker accident when he was a child. He caught her hand mid-trace, stilling her movements. "That tickles."

She giggled. She knew it would – that was always his complaint when she did that. "Ugh, I've missed this."

"Then stop fighting it." She looked into his eyes at that statement – shocked that he had said that and that she had admitted she missed him.

"I don't know if I remember how to stop fighting."

"Then take it one step at a time. Live in the moment." She nodded along with his words – seeing the reasoning behind his statement. She had been making herself miserable. It was time to try something new.

"Okay." She sat up and before he could protest, she had slung her leg over his hip and was straddling him. Leaning her forehead against his, she softly placed her lips on his, smiling against them. He was hesitant to make a move – allowing her to lead the way. She covered his mouth in small kisses before finally making her move and placing her mouth squarely on his. She coaxed him into opening his mouth to her and her tongue darted between his lips – savoring the taste of him. She giggled as a loud pounding echoed through her room.

"Breakfast is almost done you two – hurry up and finish whatever it is you're doing."

"We'll be out in a minute, sir," Fitz called, breathing heavily as his hands gripped Olivia's hips, bunching the white fabric of her nightgown.

"Five minutes. And don't call me sir!" Olivia could almost hear the smile in her dad's voice as the sound of his footsteps grew fainter – he was either amused that Fitz had called him sir, or happy that they were back on track once more. Maybe it was both.

* * *

"Is that a smile?" Olivia glanced over her shoulder at Abby. Her red-headed friend was walking down the stone stairs toward the football field where Olivia was overseeing practice. Olivia's smile grew wider, her facial muscles hurting from the perpetual grin she had had on her face since deciding to give things another shot with Fitz earlier that morning. Abby whistled as she leaned over the railing by her friend: "A genuine one at that. I'm impressed."

"You're a dork, Abs," Olivia giggled, turning her attention back to her girls. Homecoming was that Friday and they were spending every free moment preparing. Homecoming game night was always intense in Hampstead. The Wildcats and the Bulldogs had a rivalry that was around when Olivia had been in high school. They always played against each other on their homecoming nights and they were always the most intense games of the season. The girls had confided in Olivia that they were determined to be the star squad of the night.

"That's great, girls!" They were practicing their pyramid. The cheer they had chosen for halftime ended in one, and after begging Olivia, they had been told they could perform the stunt – given they successfully performed it during practice.

"I take it you talked to Fitz." Olivia turned back around to look at her friend. Her long, red hair was blowing in the breeze. She squinted in the sunlight – the clouds from the day before had cleared and the sunlight had allowed the temperature to climb close to the sixties. Olivia thought it was a beautiful day – she thought _everything_ was beautiful that day.

"I did."

"It went well?"

"He stayed the night." She tried not to laugh as Abby struggled to keep her jaw closed. The news was shocking. Turning back to the girls behind her, Olivia found them in pyramid formation – no teetering at all.

"Great job girls! I'll see you back here Tuesday at 3." She waited until all the girls had left before turning back to Abby.

"How? What?"

"I came clean to him, we played cards with my dad, and then we slept together. Just slept. The best part was that I didn't have any dreams."

"Because he makes you feel safe." Olivia nodded with that assessment. Abby was right – Fitz did make her feel safe.

* * *

"Hello, Olivia." Her therapist greeted her as she entered the room. She made her way to the sofa in the middle – sitting on the black leather and crossing her ankles.

"Hi."

"You look well rested."

"I've been sleeping better."

"Your medicine is working?"

"Not exactly." Her therapist raised a brow at that statement, tilting her head and waiting for Olivia's explanation. "Fitz has stayed over since Friday. I haven't had a nightmare at all these last three nights."

"You don't feel you're moving too fast?" She smiled at her therapist's question. It was one she had been expecting to hear from everyone else, but hadn't. Her mom had been in tears when she'd mentioned that she and Fitz were quasi-seeing one another again. Her dad had congratulated them and Abby had told her not to jeopardize it again. Everyone seemed happy and relieved at the same time.

"No. We're just keeping each other company right now." Her therapist nodded, scribbling on the legal pad in her lap. Olivia took a deep breath. She had come clean to Abby and Fitz and now it was her turn to come clean with her therapist. Both Fitz and Abby had seemed to think it was the right thing to do. "I had an abortion three years ago and that's why I broke up with Fitz."

"It was his baby."

"At the time, I didn't know that."

"Edison was involved, wasn't he?"

"Yeah." She stared at her hands, twisting them in her lap. She was still ashamed to admit what she had done. No amount of Fitz's reassurances would get her past that feeling any time soon. She glanced up as her therapist cleared her throat. The older woman removed her glasses, rubbing the bridge of her nose before speaking, giving advice that she rarely gave:

"The best revenge you can get, Olivia, is to move on with your life. Be happy and don't let Edison, or the thought of what he did to you, hold you back from pursuing that which you want the most."


	7. You Made Me A Believer

_**A/N – This chapter is very much an 'M' rated chapter (whether or not the scene lives up to any hype is up for debate as I am not the best at writing those scenes). The ending of this chapter (the italicized part) can be a little rough for some if you wish to skip it. As always, a special shoutout to my amazing beta: tamarral. - G. xx**_

 _ **Damaged**_

 _ **Chapter Seven:**_

 _ **You Made Me A Believer**_

"Nice one!" Olivia doubled over, placing her hands on her knees and breathing heavily, as her trainer gave her a thumbs-up. She brought her arm to her forehead, swiping at the sweat that was threatening to run into her eyes. Her side ached from the physical exertion she had been through in the last hour.

"You're a fast learner," the trainer commented, holding a bottle of water in front of Olivia's face. Olivia reached for the bottle, half-tempted to place the cool bottle against her warm face, and unscrewed the lid – gulping the cool liquid.

"I never did knock you down." She screwed the lid back on her bottle, sat it on the ground, and took a few deep breaths – her breath finally returning to normal. She placed her hands on her hips and bent backwards, stretching her sore back muscles.

"Patience! You'll get to that and you landed some great punches." She shook her head, unwilling to accept the tall redhead's words of encouragement. She wouldn't go easy on herself until she had perfected her fighting technique. She sighed at the thought of that: _her_ fighting technique. Fighting, or anything remotely close to it, was something she never thought that she would do. Fitz had convinced her to take these pseudo 'self-defense' lessons. He had told her it would build her confidence – and make it easier to face Jake. The man still tried to occasionally place himself in the position to cross paths with her. Fitz was a surefire way to put a stop to that, but he couldn't always be around.

"We'll see about that Jocie." Olivia slung her cooling towel over her shoulders, sighing as the cold seeped into her sore, heated shoulders. She rolled her shoulders backward – they were a little stiff.

"Hey, you're doing great. Don't give up. I'll see you Thursday." Jocelyn patted Olivia on the shoulders, giving her a wide smile as she grabbed her bag and headed toward the exit. Olivia watched as she stopped by the weights, exchanging a few words with Fitz before she headed out. Retrieving her water bottle from the floor at her feet, Olivia took another gulp of water before inching toward the weights. Fitz stood in front of the large, floor-length mirror, a fifty-pound dumbbell in his hands as he did bicep curls. Crossing her arms and leaning against the wall, Olivia gave him an appreciative once-over, watching his sweat covered arms flex with each movement. She grinned when he winked at her, finishing his last set before placing the weights back in their respective spots.

"Jocie said you catch on quick," he commented, gulping at his own water bottle. Olivia shrugged.

"She said she's new to this whole teaching thing," Olivia probed. This had been her first session with Jocelyn and she had admitted to Olivia that she had never taught fighting techniques before. Olivia had taken that to mean that Jocelyn typically operated as a personal trainer, at best, only to discover that she wasn't that either.

"I asked her to teach you. She was in here the same time as Eric and I…" he trailed off, watching for her reaction at the mention of his friend. She hadn't seen Eric in years, but it didn't surprise her that he and Fitz were still close.

"Oh? How is Eric?"

"He's great. Just got engaged. He's worried about you, Liv." She bowed her head, staring intently at her shoelaces as her mind worked through what Fitz had said.

"You talked about me?"

"Of course. Nothing bad, I promise," Fitz threw a heart-stopping smile her way as he reached for his towel, "He was your friend at one point, Liv. He still cares for you."

She allowed the ghost of a smile to tug at her lips. The idea that her old friends still cared for her was new. Sure Abby had stuck around, but the others had seemed to go about their lives and she wasn't one for dragging them down just to make herself feel better. She had always considered Eric to be her friend because of Fitz – she had never imagined that he actually cared about her.

"Is he staying around here?" She asked, watching Fitz towel himself off before slinging the white cloth over his shoulders. She bit her lip slightly, admiring the view. He winked at her, crossing his arms over his chest and flexing them in the process.

"He's living in Baltimore."

"Maybe we could invite him out for dinner sometime?" She stared nervously at her feet as she made that suggestion. She didn't normally want to go out with friends – especially not friends that she hadn't seen in a while. She'd made a promise to her therapist and herself that she would work harder on moving past her fears. It wasn't fair to keep Fitz from doing those things because she was too scared to leave the house.

"I'll talk to him about it." She nodded, inching closer to him and wrapping her arm around his waist. He slung his arm across her shoulders, bending to peck her on the cheek.

"You smell," she giggled, leaning into him as they headed toward the door.

"I smell? Have you smelled yourself?" he chuckled as she shook her head, leaving his embrace long enough to walk out of the door that he held open for her. Outside, snow swirled through the slight breeze, coating the sidewalk in a thin layer. She shivered as snowflakes hit her skin – she hadn't thrown her coat on, being too heated from her workout. Fitz came to her rescue, yanking a sweater from the large gym bag he had thrown over his shoulder and wrapping it around her. She burrowed into the warm material, searching for Fitz's hand. Linking her fingers with his, she held on to him tightly – she hated being out late. There was something about the dark that, even at her age, terrified her.

"Let's see how much trouble we can get in for getting you home so late," he winked at her, pulling her in the direction of his vehicle. In his SUV, Olivia cranked the heat up, rubbing her hands in front of the vent on the dash. Fitz loaded their gym bag in the backseat before climbing into the driver's seat. He hit the power button for the radio and found a station for the two of them to listen to.

"I like this song," she commented as the first chords of "Believer" filled the car. Fitz nodded, reaching across the seat to grasp her hand in his as he pulled onto the nearly deserted street. The small town came to a near stop every night around eight, except for the occasional teen here and there looking to get into some kind of mischief. Fitz scheduled his gym time around 8:30 to avoid others – he liked quiet workouts, and rarely left before ten.

They didn't pass another vehicle until they had neared Olivia's street. Fitz turned his headlights off as he pulled into the driveway. Olivia smiled at that gesture – she knew he was trying to not wake her parents. She was sure the attempt was in vain. Her parents wouldn't go to bed until she was home and safely in her own bed. They hadn't trusted her to go out or be out of bed without them since that incident a couple years ago. They were afraid she would try something similar and, truth be told, had she not ran into Fitz, she may have.

"Come on. We need to shower and get to bed." She shook her head of her thoughts, taking Fitz's outstretched hand as he held her door open for her. She waited for him to slam the door shut before heading toward the front door. The door was unlocked. Fitz locked it behind them and she stomped off in direction of her room. She came across her dad in the family room, relaxing on the sofa as he watched the television.

"Did you have fun?" She nodded at her dad's question, eyeing the television and shaking her head at the show he was watching. Something cut and dry on the History channel. Documentaries were her father's favorite. She shrieked as she felt arms wrap around her from behind and Fitz's stubble tickle her neck. Eli raised a brow at the two.

"Go take your shower. I'll be up in a few minutes," Fitz stated, kissing her cheek and releasing his hold on her, watching as she sauntered off. He dropped his bag on the floor, taking a seat on the sofa and glancing at the television. Eli leaned forward, turning the volume down.

"How'd she like the gym?" Fitz took a deep breath, trying to conjure an answer to that question. She had seemed to enjoy her session with Jocelyn, but as with most things when it came to Olivia, it was never easy knowing what she actually thought.

"She seemed to like it. Jocie said she did well with the lessons." Eli nodded at that information. Fitz had come to him first with the suggestion of having Olivia learn to fight. He had thought it was a good idea and had given Fitz the go-ahead to set up the lessons. They wanted to give her some sort of confidence booster so she wouldn't be as afraid of going out in public.

"Are you staying the night?" Eli tossed a look at Fitz before returning his gaze to the television, watching the image of a large river.

"She asked me," Fitz nodded, trying to anticipate Eli's reaction. He had stayed the night at Eli's house plenty of times before when he and Olivia had been dating and decided to visit her parents for the weekend. This was a little different, though. In the last month or so, he had stayed at Olivia's more than his own home. Every night that he promised himself he would spend in his own bed, she would look at him with those beautiful, dark eyes and beg him to stay with her. Her admission that she didn't have nightmares when he slept beside her made it hard for him to turn her down. Impossible, even.

"You're good for her. I'm never going to say no to you." Eli shrugged, hitting buttons on the remote and returning the volume to its pre-conversation level, effectively ending their talk. Fitz stood, retrieving his bag from the floor, and headed toward the steps. As he took the wooden stairs, he thought of how grateful he was toward Eli. The man had been in his corner from the moment he'd come waltzing back into Olivia's life. It was more than he could have ever asked for.

Inside Olivia's room, he dropped their bag in front of her closet and moved toward his medium-sized carry-on. He rummaged through the black bag, producing a pair of basketball shorts and a change of underwear. He laid his clothes on the bed, sat on the edge of the mattress, and pulled his shoes and socks off. The sound of the bathroom door opening drew his attention to the other side of the room. Olivia stepped out of the bathroom, a small towel wrapped around her curvy figure. She noticed him watching her and moved toward him, wrapping her arms around his neck and placing her knees on either side of him, straddling him as she sat in his lap.

"Olivia?" His voice came out as a whisper, his hands gripping the bedspread as he felt her heat seeping through the thin fabric of his compression shorts.

"Fitz." The sound of her breathy whisper went straight to his groin and she was quick to pick up on the fact, moving ever so slightly so she brushed against his growing bulge.

"We've only been back together for a month and a half, Liv." She shook her head at that statement. What was a month and a half when they had spent years together previously? This early-stage relationship game was wearing her down – it was pointless.

"It feels like it's been longer. I love you, Fitz. Time doesn't really matter…and I need this." She couldn't really explain it, but she had felt this way since watching him at the gym. For so long, she had felt like a piece of herself was missing and, at the gym, she had realized that piece was Fitz. He came back into her life, gave her everything she could ever ask for, and was focused on _fixing_ her. Her friends and parents, of course, were invested in improving her mental health, but they had deferred to her therapist for the solution. Fitz hadn't. He was working _with_ her.

"I don't want you to feel like I'm taking advantage of you." She nodded. The reasoning may have been wrong, but she could understand why he thought that. She hadn't made the most emotionally sound decisions up until the last month. She was determined to put that in the past, though.

"You aren't. I promise." He took a deep breath, looking up into her trusting eyes and finally relented. Moving his hands from the bedspread, one latched onto her hip and the other found its way to her neck, yanking her down to meet his lips. She sighed at the feel of his soft lips beneath hers and moved hers in sync with his, grasping his bottom lip between her teeth and sucking. He groaned at the sensation, slipping his tongue into her mouth.

Olivia took the time while he was distracted to move a hand to the knot in her towel and yank it apart. She giggled against his lips when his eyes widened in surprise as she tossed the towel to the floor. He pulled back, his eyes raking over her body. Her giggles quickly turned to moans when his hands traveled to her breasts, his thumbs circling her areola. She gasped, burying her face in his neck, when his thumbs ventured far enough to flick her already hardened nipples. She could feel her wetness coating her thighs – it had been years since she'd had any form of sexual encounter and she was more than ready for him.

"Did…you…mmhm…lock…fuck…the door?" she managed to ground out as he moved his head to her breasts, covering one taut nipple with his mouth and playing with the other. She threw her head back, biting her lip to stifle a moan as she ground her hips against his, once he shook his head, pulling back with a loud 'pop'. The air was cool against the wet patch he had left around her breast – doing nothing to ease the tightness that she felt there. With shaky legs, she stood from his lap and made her way to the door, flipping the lock. She was sure her parents knew that she was far from being a virgin, but it didn't mean she wanted them unknowingly walking in on her.

Returning to the bed, she laughed when Fitz wrapped his arms around her waist and flipped her onto her back. His attention returned to her breasts – he had always had a fascination with them and, if he were feeling up to it, was _very_ adept at giving her a mind shattering orgasm without going any further. He sensed that tonight, she needed something more. Moving down her body, he left a trail of kisses. Moving to the edge of the bed, he gripped her knees, looking up into her face as he spread her legs and rested one on each shoulder. He kissed each thigh tenderly before hesitating at the well-groomed mound between her legs. She nodded, giving him permission to delve further and that was all he needed.

Her gasps and moans filled the room as he licked and nibbled around her outer lips. He enjoyed teasing her. Never once did he move his gaze from the beautiful, passion-filled face above him. Watching her only turned him on more – to the point that it was nearly painful. A thought flashed across his mind that he should have taken his shorts off beforehand, but he quickly squashed it. Tonight was about her.

"Fuck!" She shouted as he finally inched his tongue deeper, circling her clit and taking the engorged nub into his mouth, suckling hard. He was sure that her parents had heard her – hell, the whole neighborhood had probably heard her. No doubt they would receive their fair share of ribbing in the morning, but it would be worth it. She felt him smiling against her skin and gasped once more as she felt him slowly push a finger in – her walls quick to grasp at what little he was giving her. Moments later, she was tightening her legs around his head, moaning his name as she shattered around him. Removing his mouth and hand from her, Fitz slid back up her body and pressed his lips against her, amazed at how quickly she came. She groaned at the taste of herself on his lips and rocked her hips against him, trying to pull herself closer to the large bulge in his shorts.

Sitting up, she pushed him to the side, moving her hands to the waistband of his shorts and yanking them down. She grinned at the site of his erection standing at attention, begging for her touch. She smiled at him, giving him a quick, chaste kiss before moving toward his cock. At the first feel of her lips on him, his eyes fluttered shut and a groan escaped his lips. She smiled at him, bobbing her head up and down and swirling her tongue around his rather large appendage. The taste and feel of him had her dripping with want and she ended her attention rather quickly – she needed him. Now.

Throwing a leg over his hips, she gripped his cock in one hand and guided it to her entrance, sliding slowly down his thick length. She groaned at the feel of him stretching her. It had been a long, long time. He moved his hands to her hips, allowing her time to adjust to his size and girth. He had felt how tight she was when he had fingered her – he knew she would need time. Eventually, she moved her hands to his chest, lifting herself before slowly easing herself back down. He glanced up at her, trying to think of anything else, but when he noticed the look of passion cross her face and one hand sneak up to cup her voluminous breast, he knew he would have a hard time staying focused. He _had_ to stay in control. He was determined that she cum before he did.

Increasing the tempo, she was soon bouncing on his dick, moans and groans from both of them filling the room. She protested when he flipped them, but her protests soon fell away when he set a bruising pace, the headboard pounding against the wall in response. She wrapped her legs around his waist, holding on for dear life. One hand entangled in his hair, yanking his lips to hers, as her other hand gripped his ass, squeezing hard. He swallowed her gasp as he moved a hand to her clit, playing with the hard nub as she shattered around him. With one final, hard thrust, he emptied himself in her, breathing hard against her mouth.

In the afterglow of their lovemaking, Olivia laid with her head on his chest and his arms around her. For once, she allowed the warm, bubbly feeling that she knew to be happiness to fill her. She tilted her head to look up at him, her hand tracing lazy circles on his chest.

"We forgot a condom," he stated, matter-of-fact, one hand drifting up to grasp hers – he never had liked her playing with his chest. Always complaining that it tickled.

"You're still the only one I've ever been with," she admitted in a small voice, afraid of what he would think about that admission.

"I wasn't worried about that. I haven't been with anyone since you." She maneuvered herself until she was leaning on one elbow, looking down into his face.

"Really?"

"There's no one else like you." She smiled at that and he moved his thumb to her cheek, wiping away a tear.

"I don't want anything happening that we're not prepared for yet, though." She nodded with his statement – the worry over the condom making sense. They _weren't_ ready for kids.

"I take the pill, Fitz. My therapist says it interacts well with my antidepressants…and I used to have really bad cramps so my doctor wanted me to keep taking them." He nodded at her explanation and turned toward the alarm clock. _1:26._ He had a feeling he was going to be late to work tomorrow – Abby would have to cover for him until he could make it.

* * *

"Good morning, you two." Maya tried, unsuccessfully, to cover her grin behind her coffee mug. Olivia blushed at the gesture. Fitz had picked on her for being too loud, but she hadn't realized she had been _that_ loud.

"Breakfast?" Eli offered, holding a spatula as he turned toward the duo, "Eggs over easy, Fitz?"

"Yeah," Fitz nodded, somewhat surprised that Eli had remembered how he liked his eggs. Olivia made a face at the mention of eggs – she never had liked them.

"So…you two had fun last night, eh?" Eli chuckled, cracking an egg in his frying pan. Olivia groaned, standing on her tip-toes and burying her face in the space between Fitz's shoulder blades. He laughed at her reaction, reaching an arm behind him and patting her butt playfully.

"If you're going to be embarrassed about it, maybe you shouldn't do it…or invest in soundproofing your room," Maya commented, sitting at the table with her plate.

"That actually sounds like an amazing idea. It'd put your mother and I at ease," Eli chimed in.

"Can we not discuss my sex life?" Olivia peeked at her parents from behind Fitz.

"So you admit there is one?" Maya winked at her daughter, picking at the food on her plate.

"Mom!" Eli and Maya laughed at Olivia's response as Fitz attempted to keep a straight face. As far as awkward breakfasts went, this one was high on his list.

"Alright, we'll stop," Maya acquiesced. Olivia nodded her thanks, moving to make her own breakfast plate.

After their plates were empty and had been carried to the sink, Fitz gave Olivia a chaste kiss – not wishing to bring about more teasing from her parents, and made his goodbyes. She watched from the window as he entered his SUV and pulled out of the drive – headed for work. This was the part of her day she hated the most – waiting for him to get home. Typically, it was just her and her mom for the day, but being a Saturday, her dad was home, too. Being a Saturday, it also meant that Fitz would be home around one. She smiled at that thought: home. Her house certainly did feel more like a home with Fitz in it.

"What are your plans for today?" Eli interrupted her thoughts. She glanced out the window at the swirling snow – even for December, they had gotten an unusual amount of snow.

"I think I'm going to read," she announced, turning to face her dad.

"Anything new?" She nodded – she had a whole host of books that she hadn't gotten the chance to read yet. She barely had time to read anything but textbooks while she was in college and after…she hadn't felt like reading after Edison. It had been hard for her to focus. Now, she was slowly catching up.

"I just started _Every Day_. It's different. I like it." Her dad nodded, watching as she headed for her room, a slight bounce in her step. In her room, she retrieved her book from the bookshelf and settled into her window seat, a throw blanket over her lap and her favorite of Fitz's sweatshirts over her shoulders.

That's where Fitz found her, hours later, her book resting on her chest and her head rested against the window. He smiled at her slight snore, watching her sleep for a moment before sitting his briefcase on the floor and leaving the room. He would let her sleep for now – there hadn't been much of that the night before.

"Do you have a moment to talk?" Eli called as Fitz passed his study. Fitz slowed to a stop, changing the direction his feet were headed in and entering Eli's study. The older man sat at a large, dark oak desk, his hands moving cautiously as he worked on reconstructing a model of the Palace of Versailles. Fitz took a moment to admire the craftsmanship as he took a seat by the desk.

"Where's Olivia?" Eli spared one quick glance at Fitz before returning to the task at hand.

"She's taking a nap."

"She seems to be sleeping better."

"She is." Eli smiled at the relieved tone of Fitz's voice.

"I suppose you know why I asked you in here."

"I have a feeling." It was a question he had been expecting from Eli for about a month now – a question almost every father eventually asks of the man his daughter happens to be seeing. The thought of the question didn't anger Fitz or make him nervous. Eli loved her and was just looking out for her and Fitz…he knew the answer to the question, already. Had known the answer before they had officially become a couple once more.

"What exactly are your intentions with my daughter?" Finally, Eli looked up from the model in front of him and leveled Fitz with a stern, intense stare. It was all for show and Fitz knew that.

"One day, when she's ready, I'm going to marry her." Eli smiled at the tone in Fitz's voice. The boy was determined; he'd give him that.

"That's all I could hope for."

* * *

 _The sound of a baby crying filled the room, rousing Olivia from the deep slumber she had fallen into. It took her a minute to register the sound before she finally popped her eyes open and reluctantly rose from the soft bed. The crying wasn't slowing or going away. She reached for the robe hanging on her door and pulled it over her nightgown. Opening the door, she headed down the hallway, her feet carrying her to the room at the end – a room she didn't recognize. She didn't recognize anything about this house she found herself in._

 _The crying was louder on the other side of this door, causing her to cringe at the high-pitched sound. Putting her hand on the doorknob, she slowly twisted. Her mouth fell open at the horrible sight that greeted her eyes the moment she slung the door open. Red covered the walls, floor, and the small, white crib in the middle of the room. Tears fell from her eyes, dripping down her cheeks, as she shakily started toward that crib._

 _The crying only got louder the closer she came. She took a deep breath and looked down into the crib, gasping at the sight of an empty mattress. One lone letter laid on the tiny mattress. With trembling hands, she reached for the sheet of paper and scanned the sloppy handwriting, crying out as she let the paper slip from her hands. It landed right-side up, showing its hurtful words as her sobbing intensified:_

 _ **"How could you, mommy?"**_


	8. Darkness Shows You The Light

_**A/N: I, personally, am not too happy with the way this chapter turned out, but it was extremely difficult for me to write. Here's to hoping the next chapter is much easier. Thank you, Tamarral – you are amazing! – G.**_

 _ **Damaged**_

 _ **Chapter 8:**_

 _ **Darkness Shows You the Light**_

"I'll see you in an hour." Fitz held the glass door open for Olivia, bending to give her a quick kiss. His brows scrunched together, he looked from her to the door as she hesitated on the snowy sidewalk.

"Actually, my therapist and I discussed you sitting in on this session." She lowered her gaze, chewing on her lip. She didn't know how he would react to the suggestion, which is why she had waited until the last possible minute to bring up the fact that he had an open invitation to her therapy session. She had allowed her last nightmare to eat at her for two weeks. It was to the point that she absolutely refused to sleep if Fitz were not by her side. Her therapist had insisted that she needed to discuss the matter with him in a neutral setting.

"Okay." It always amazed her how quick he was to join in any effort to help her. No convincing was needed – not if he thought she would benefit from his agreement. A smile touched her lips and she reached down to grab his hand, intertwining her fingers with his and pulling him through the door into the warm receptionist area. They waited, walking hand-in-hand into her therapist's office and sitting on the black, leather sofa together.

"I'm glad you could join us today, Fitz." Dr. Clarke extended her hand, shaking Fitz's warmly before taking her own seat and crossing her legs, balancing her legal pad across her knee. Fitz glanced at Olivia, trying to gauge her reaction to being in this particular room. She had told him bits and pieces about therapy, but she never sounded like she enjoyed it much. When they had first started talking again, she had even sounded like she hated it. That hate had slowly dwindled into a strong dislike with a healthy amount of respect for what she was accomplishing.

"Please don't judge me by anything you hear in here." Fitz turned on the sofa to face Olivia as she made her small request, grasping her hands in his. He shook his head at her suggestion that he would ever judge her for the way she acted in therapy.

"Not going to happen." She smiled at that response – he _always_ knew what to say. The sound of the therapist's pen scratching across her notepad drew Olivia's attention away from Fitz. She wondered how he was going to react to having his every move and word observed and scrutinized.

"Olivia, have you mentioned your dream to Fitz?" Olivia shook her head – many things had held her back from mentioning her nightmare. Fitz had asked her to stop blaming herself for what had happened, had given lectures about the need to start blaming Edison instead of herself, and she was worried how he would react to her dream. It would be obvious that she hadn't taken that advice to heart.

"No." Taking a deep breath, she glanced at Fitz before bowing her head. She had trouble looking anyone in the eye when she was admitting to her feelings. "I had a dream about our baby…I woke up and heard a baby crying, but when I went in his…or her room…"

"It's okay. You don't have to finish." Fitz gritted his teeth, imagining what Olivia must have dreamed and taking her in his arms. Part of him wanted to beat Edison until he could no longer stand. The damage that man had done to Olivia was unbelievable.

"I keep thinking about what life would be like now if I had made a different choice. I wonder if the baby has ever forgiven me. I didn't even allow him or her to live. You, Abby, and Edison are the only ones who even know that the baby existed." That bothered her. She hadn't disclosed the information to her parents and she hated to think that Edison was one of the few who knew her secret. His knowledge of her baby seemed wrong in so many ways.

"I don't think the baby blames you, Olivia. I certainly don't." She shook her head. She still wasn't convinced that the baby didn't blame her. The nightmares certainly made it feel like the baby blamed her for the choice she had made.

"The dreams…"

"The dreams aren't the baby accusing you, Livvie. _You're_ the only one blaming yourself." Shoving herself out of his embrace, Olivia swiped at her eyes before turning her attention to her therapist. She had been unusually silent thus far, instead, opting to scribble note after note as she observed Olivia and Fitz. Resting her pen on the paper, Doctor Clarke observed the two, choosing to speak:

"Fitz has a point, Olivia. The dreams are the manifestation of your own consciousness refusing to allow you to move past the choices you made."

"I don't know how to _not_ feel this way," Olivia admitted, her voice coming out in a soft whisper as she reached for Fitz's hand, squeezing her fingers around his. Squeezing her fingers back, Fitz turned his attention to the therapist, giving her an expectant look.

"Olivia, you need to stop blocking your emotions. Allow yourself to _feel_ every emotion that you are holding back. Then focus on moving past those emotions. Holding on to them will only prevent you from healing and creating the future that you want."

* * *

"Are you sure about this?" Fitz asked as he buttoned his coat, watching Olivia do the buttons on her knee-length, emerald double-breasted coat.

"Yeah." She tried to give a smile, but it fell flat. Reaching for the tiny, stuffed teddy bear on the end table, she wrapped her arm around it and held it close to her body before linking hands with Fitz and leaving the warmth of the house. Outside, as the late-December snowfall covered the ground, Olivia and Fitz trekked across the yard to the very edge of Maya and Eli's property. Her parents stood underneath the bare branches of the large Oak tree. Eli's arm was wrapped around Maya's shoulders – even from the distance, Olivia could tell that her mother had been crying once again. There was rarely a day that Maya had looked at her daughter without tears and pity since Olivia had told her parents about losing her child and the role Edison had to play.

Fitz pulled Olivia closer to him, holding her against his body as they stopped before Eli and Maya. He could feel her shaking – partly from the cold and partly from the tears that were escaping. A small, granite stone had been freshly placed at the base of the tree. Olivia's gaze fell to the stone, her eyes watering further as she read the words her parents had had engraved in the granite:

 _I carried you_

 _every second of your life_

 _and I will love you_

 _every second of mine._

 _Our Sweet Baby 2015_

Olivia wiped at the tears now falling steadily down her cheeks. Dedicating a memorial stone to their baby had been Fitz's idea after her therapy session with him. He had argued that it was an important step in the healing process for both of them. He wanted to acknowledge that their baby had existed and Olivia…Olivia was willing to do whatever Fitz suggested. She hadn't seen him grieve for their baby until the moment he had made this suggestion. It had hit home that she wasn't the only one dealing with the loss. Somehow, it had made everything a little more bearable.

"It's beautiful." She disentangled herself from Fitz, kneeling before the stone and placing the teddy bear upon it; its head resting on the hard granite. Her dad had promised to add flowers come spring. Her knees buckled and she sank to the ground, the cold snow seeping through her wool stockings. Tears fell harder as she bowed her head before the stone. A silent prayer left her lips and she leaned into Fitz's body heat as he kneeled beside her, wrapping her in his arms. As the sky darkened, the couple remained kneeling, giving voice to their grief.

* * *

"Come on you two!" Olivia rolled over, groaning, as she buried her face in Fitz's neck, trying to block out the sound of her father's persistent pounding on her bedroom door. Fitz slowly opened his eyes, chuckling at Olivia, and glanced at the alarm clock. 8:00 blinked back at him in large, red numbers.

"We're up!" He chose to answer Eli's calls and sighed when the pounding finally stopped. His head ached a little – he and Eli had stayed up late the previous night, drinking plenty of 'adult' eggnog. Stretching, Fitz threw the covers off his body and stood from the soft mattress, moving toward the dresser that Olivia had allowed him to put his things in. She had said she was sick of tripping over his bag every night.

"Why is it so cold?" Olivia complained, wrapping her arms around her body and pulling her legs to her chest. Fitz chuckled at the childish act as he pulled a pair of flannel pajama bottoms up his legs.

"It would be warmer if you had clothes on." She lifted her head long enough to glare at him before grabbing for a cover, wrapping the thick blanket around her tiny frame and scooting out of bed.

"Whose fault is that?" She narrowed her eyes at him, her face twisting in mock outrage. She giggled when he crossed the room, wrapping his muscular arms around her torso and nuzzling her neck. The blanket fell away in the midst of her struggle to escape his embrace, leaving her skin with an assortment of goose bumps. Her surprised gasp as his hands brushed her breasts was quickly swallowed when he put his lips on hers.

"Get dressed before your dad knocks the door down," he mumbled against her lips, pulling away and swatting her ass. She winked at him, swaying her hips from side to side as she headed toward her dresser, yanking it open and reaching for a nightgown. Reluctantly, Fitz tore his gaze from her and moved toward the door, slipping his feet into the warmth of his slippers. A moment later, Olivia joined him, yanking the door open and heading downstairs toward the family room.

Eli and Maya were relaxing on the sofa, mugs of coffee in their hands, when the younger couple entered. Fitz settled into the grey, overstuffed loveseat, wrapping his arms around Olivia when she settled beside him. She laid her head on his shoulder, looking at the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree she and Fitz had helped her parents decorate. Gifts were scattered underneath the large tree – she recognized the ones she had gotten for her mother, father, and Fitz, but the majority of the packages hadn't been there the previous day.

"It's about time you two joined us," Eli winked, "We've been waiting all morning to open presents."

Olivia smiled at the excited tone that had crept into her father's voice. Before she had moved back home, Christmas had been an important, carefree family holiday. After…she hadn't felt like celebrating any holidays. Her dad had been shocked when she'd come to him not long after Thanksgiving and asked to put up a Christmas tree. He'd gotten right back into the Christmas spirit and had helped his daughter decorate the place to her heart's desire.

"You and mom first," she decided, jumping out of Fitz's embrace and moving toward the tree. She grabbed the two packages she and Fitz had wrapped for her parents and handed them over, watching with barely contained delight as they tore away at the paper. Maya grinned at the vintage-style trunk suitcases that Olivia and Fitz had gotten her.

"Fitz…Olivia…you didn't have to do this," Eli spoke, holding the contents of his package in his hands – two flight tickets and information for a weeklong cruise to the Bahamas.

"You and mom deserve it." Olivia smiled, moving toward Fitz and holding his hand, "And Fitz said I can stay at his house with him while you're gone. Your plane leaves tomorrow morning."

"What about…?"

"I'll hang out with him at work during the day. I won't be home alone," Olivia promised, interrupting her mom's question before she had a chance to finish.

"Okay," Maya agreed, shaking her head. "I guess we need to pack. After you open your presents."

"Presents?" Olivia questioned, looking at the small stack beneath the tree. Eli nodded, shoving himself off the sofa and reaching for a couple presents under the tree – handing one to Olivia and one to Fitz. The two opened their gifts – smiling at the couples' spa package they had gotten. After thanking her parents, and hugging them, Olivia reached for a present under the tree and passed it to Fitz as he handed her a small box. She watched as he unwrapped his present, thanking her for the personalized, leather briefcase.

"Fitz…" Olivia's hand went to her mouth as she stared at the contents in the small box she had just opened, "Is this…?"

"You're going to be staying a week with me – it's about time you had your own key." She felt the tears threatening to slide down her cheeks as she threw her arms around him. The key had been unexpected, but she was thrilled to receive it. He knew she wasn't ready to completely commit to a future, but this was a step in the right direction.

"I love you," she whispered against his lips, resting her head on his shoulder.

"On that note…I'm going to get some more coffee." Eli stood from the sofa, followed quickly by Maya. Fitz laughed, tightening his grip on Olivia.

"I think your parents will be glad to get a break from us."

"I think so, too," Olivia winked, pulling the key from the box to discover that it was attached to a long, silver chain. Looking up at Fitz, she smiled as he took the key from her hands, fastening it around her slender neck.

"Wouldn't want you to lose that."

* * *

"Make yourself at home." Fitz carried Olivia's suitcases to his bedroom as she looked around the decent-sized apartment. Although they had been dating for a few months now, this was the first time that Olivia had been inside Fitz's apartment. It was…exactly how she had expected it to be. Instead of a table, he used the bar in the kitchen and a large, overstuffed sofa sat in the living room – in front of a flat screen television with a videogame system hooked up. DVDs and books lined the walls and, on the small desk in the corner, were pictures of the two of them. Grasping a small, silver frame, she smiled at the image of Fitz with her and her parents. Abby had insisted on it after a football game.

"Fair warning, I still don't cook," Fitz announced, entering the room. Olivia laughed at that statement – he never had been able to cook.

"That doesn't surprise me. You do have groceries though, don't you?"

"We'll have to go shopping."

Shopping with Fitz was a light-hearted affair. They shared jokes through the aisles and he deferred to her judgment when it came to selecting food for their meals throughout the week. He and there he would make suggestions or let her know that he didn't care much for what she had chosen. Holding onto his arm as they walked down an aisle, Olivia couldn't help but imagine what life would be like if they had gotten married.

"Olivia?" She turned at the sound of a familiar voice to find her therapist looking at her, a loaf of bread in her hands.

"Hi, Dr. Clarke." Olivia grinned, tugging slightly on Fitz's arm to get him to stop the cart and smiling at her therapist.

"It's wonderful to see you out." Olivia nodded. It was wonderful to _be_ out. She hadn't thought twice about shopping when Fitz had made the suggestion – she didn't have to. He made her feel safe and she was willing to try anything as long as he promised to be there.

"We're just picking up a few things." She realized how ridiculous that sounded the moment it came out of her mouth – their cart was completely full.

"Well, I won't keep you. I'll see you next week." Olivia gave a small wave before turning back around and trailing down the aisle next to Fitz. They paid for their groceries and drove home, working as a time to put the groceries away.

Later, Olivia stood at the counter, chopping an onion for their salads. Fitz lounged on the sofa – Olivia had shooed him from the kitchen the moment she had first taken their steaks out of the refrigerator. He was good at getting in her way and distracting her while she was trying to cook. That didn't stop him from glancing into the kitchen every now and then, admiring the sight of her moving around in his home as if she, too, lived there. He tore his eyes from Olivia as his phone began to ring.

"Hello?" He answered, placing the phone to his ear.

"Fitz? Have time to talk?" Eric's voice came across the line in a hushed whisper. Fitz sat up, taking his feet from the coffee table and placing them solidly on the floor.

"About what?" He had a feeling he knew what Eric wanted to talk about. They had had a conversation a couple weeks ago about the topic and Eric had promised to call when he had more information.

"About you-know-who. I don't really want to talk about it on the phone, though. Too much of a trail. Got time to meet any this week?" It was definitely about what Fitz thought it was about.

"Yeah. Monday at 5 sound good to you?"

"Sounds great, man. The Pub?" The bar and grille was a favorite of the two men and Fitz wasn't all that surprised to hear Eric suggest it.

"Sure. See you then."

* * *

"Sorry I'm a little late. I had to talk Olivia into going to dinner with Abby." Fitz slid into the booth across from Eric, shrugging out of his coat as he did so.

"No problem." Eric sipped the beer in front of him and signaled for a waitress. He waited until Fitz had ordered a drink and both men had placed orders for food before starting into the reason for the meeting, "He is being transferred to Cumberland."

"You must have pulled quite a few favors for that one." Eric had only recently accepted a position as warden of Cumberland and, when Fitz had come to him with one simple request, he found it impossible to refuse. He had used every last bit of influence he had within the justice system to fulfill Fitz's request.

"Anything for you and Olivia."

"I still can't wrap my head around what he did to Olivia. What he did to _us_." Fitz shook his head in disgust, falling silent as the waitress placed his beer and a plate of mozzarella sticks in front of him.

"Are you sure there's no way you can get him charged for the baby?" Eric asked, reaching across the table to pluck a mozzarella stick from Fitz's plate. Fitz shook his head, shoving the plate to the middle of the table.

"I can't. _She_ chose to have the abortion. The reasoning won't stand up in court." Fitz hated to admit that – he would have loved to have Edison charged for that crime.

"Well…either way, he won't get away with it."

"What?"

"It's best if you don't know, Fitz." And he accepted that answer. He didn't know what Eric was going to do the moment Edison was in his custody and he really didn't care. Fitz knew Eric well enough to know that Edison wouldn't receive the near cushy treatment he had been receiving. He didn't know what Eric was planning, but he was sure that Edison deserved it.


	9. No Mercy

_**Damaged**_

 _ **Chapter Nine:**_

 _ **No Mercy**_

"Your mom and dad are going to kill me when they get back," Fitz groaned, watching as the short blonde began swiping at Olivia's wrist. Olivia giggled at Fitz's statement – he was probably right. Her dad most likely would kill him. But she was an adult. This was her choice and there really wasn't anything or anyone that could convince her to back out at this point. She took a deep breath and watched as the petite woman before her placed a piece of transfer paper on her wrist. She waited a second before peeling the paper back, leaving a purplish outline on Olivia's wrist. Fitz glanced over the woman's shoulder.

"I like it," he commented, reading the loopy letters that said, ' _I'll see you on the other side of the stars'_ surrounded by what would become stardust.

"I like it, too," Olivia smiled, "Don't worry about my mom and dad. I'll tell them I drugged you."

"I feel like they won't believe that," he laughed, watching as the artist carefully dipped her needle into the small container of black ink before swirling her chair toward Olivia and bending her head over Olivia's wrist.

"I'm going to do the period first so you'll know what it feels like." Olivia nodded at the statement and squared her shoulders, jumping when the petite woman grasped her wrist. "Relax. It'll hurt if you're tense."

Olivia took a deep, shaky breath and nodded. She didn't know what to expect. She'd asked a couple people, but they had had differing opinions on the pain associated with getting a tattoo. She'd always heard that it hurt, though. Nervously, she watched as the blonde bent back over her wrist and placed the tip of the tattoo needle against her skin. She grimaced at the first feel of the needle, staring at her wrist at the site of the small, black dot.

"What do you think?"

"It's a …"

"Different kind of pain?"

"Yeah, different. It's not bad, Amanda." Amanda nodded at that assessment and bent back over Olivia's wrist, continuing on to the lettering. Olivia watched as each purple line slowly became a dark, shiny black. Fitz took a seat in the corner, quietly observing the two women. Olivia watched as the Amanda lowered the needle once more. It didn't take long to finish the small tattoo and as the tiny blonde was busy putting her equipment away, Fitz admired the sweet token on Olivia's wrist for their child. Amanda had done a fantastic job.

"Alright. So, I just need to wrap this and you can be on your way." Amanda placed a linen bandage over the newly completed tattoo before wrapping Olivia's wrist with saran-wrap.  
"You can take this off in about an hour. Make sure you dab, don't rub, unscented lotion a couple times a day while it's healing. You also need to make sure you're washing it with antibiotic soap, avoiding water – a shower or bath is fine, but don't submerse it for long and avoid any river/ocean water. Avoid direct sunlight as much as possible. This is especially important during the first two months, but even after it heals, you should make sure you're putting sunscreen on it before going out."

"Thanks," Olivia nodded along to the information, jumping from the table and grabbing Fitz's hand. He smiled at the gesture – she had become his shadow lately. After paying, the two found themselves walking the snowy sidewalks, hand in hand, and chatting amicably. Occasionally, Olivia found herself leaning her head against Fitz's shoulder, her eyes drooping.

"Ready to go home?" Fitz gently probed as Olivia yawned.

"If you are." She wrapped her arm around his waist, her fingers gripping his hip and holding him to her.

"You look like you're about to fall over," Fitz chuckled, guiding her toward his parked SUV.

 **Back at the apartment:**

"Thank you for my tattoo." Olivia admired the fresh ink on her wrist as Fitz towel-dried his hair. He lazily draped the towel over his shoulders as he inched forward and looked at her wrist.

"It looks pretty damn amazing, babe." He wrapped his arms around her from behind, nuzzling her neck. She giggled, tilting her neck to give him better access as she wiggled against him – her giggles turning to moans at the feel of his body's response. She grasped his hands, guiding them to her breasts and sighing as he began massaging them through her thin nightgown.

"I've missed this."

"Having me available for sex whenever you want?" Fitz joked, dropping his hands and turning her around. She shook her head and quickly pecked his lips.

"Being with you. Being happy," she smiled, slowly sliding down his body to her knees. "And the mind-blowing sex."

He exhaled in a sharp hiss as she quickly slid his shorts from his body and took his engorged member in her warm, inviting mouth. His hands made their way to her hair as she bobbed her head, trying to refrain himself from fucking her sweet, sweet mouth. Damn, she was good at this. He watched with heavy-lidded eyes as she pulled him from her mouth, placing butterfly kisses on the head of his penis. She lapped up the precum glistening on his warm skin, a sigh escaping her at the taste. Placing his hands on her arms, Fitz gently lifted her to a standing position. His lips sought hers as his hands began bunching the silky material of her gown. They broke apart as he pulled the gown from her body.

"I don't think you could get anymore beautiful," he admired, wrapping her in his arms. She groaned as her nipples grazed his toned chest. He walked them backwards to the bed, twisting them around at the last moment so that he could gently push her onto her back.

"That's my favorite position to see you in," she giggled as he slid down her body and knelt in between her legs. He shook his head at her, watching her face as he leaned forward and, without warning, kissed her warm, sweet center. He gave her a devilish grin as he began placing kisses on her thighs, avoiding giving her anymore attention where she most wanted.

"Fitz." Her voice held a slight note of frustration and he smirked as he moved his head, finally plunging his tongue into her warm center. A lust-filled scream escaped her throat and her hands flew to his hair, pulling on the soft strands. She writhed and moaned under his expert touch. She groaned in hardly suppressed annoyance when he pulled away before she could find her release.

"Now you know how it feels," he teased, sliding his body against hers and resting his hands on either side of her head, lowering his lips to hers.

"You won't ever let me …" She trailed as his mouth moved to her neck.

"That's because you have me addicted to other things," he winked, shifting his weight to one hand, grabbing his cock in the other, and gliding it across her wet folds. Her eyes fluttered at the contact and her nails found purchase on his back as he finally pushed himself into her, stretching her walls with each slow, laborious inch.

"You feel so good," he moaned in her ear, licking the sensitive skin before taking her earlobe in his mouth and suckling. She tightened her legs around his waist, raising herself to meet him thrust for thrust. The sound of their skin slapping against one another filled the room – accompanied by their lustful moans. Olivia's nails drew a pattern of lines across Fitz's back – drawing blood in places that neither noticed. Her breath became labored and her calves ached with the strain of holding onto him. Her mouth formed a silent 'o' as she shattered around him. Fitz grunted as he followed moments later, stilling above her as he rode out his release.

"I'm going to take a shower," Olivia announced minutes later, scooting off the bed and heading toward the bathroom.

"I'm going to call Eric."

"Have fun," she winked, entering the bathroom and shutting the door. Fitz stood from the bed, stretching before heading toward his dresser. Grabbing a pair of boxers from the top drawer, he yanked them on and grabbed his phone from the nightstand. Scrolling through his contacts, he hit Eric's name and left the bedroom for the living room.

 **Earlier that Evening**

 **Cumberland, FCI**

"Get in there," a stern, harsh-looking officer commanded.

"Why did they transfer me?" The middle-aged man demanded, standing his ground at his open cell door. Edison had been asking the same question for the past two days – since he had learned that he was being transferred to the medium-security federal prison. He had been close with his previous warden – receiving anything he had asked for, yet even he hadn't known why Edison had been transferred. The only answer he could give was that the transfer had been a special request of the F.B.I.

"You'll have to take that up with the Warden."

"Can I speak to him?" Edison asked through clenched teeth. He knew better than to lose his temper – at least, not if he wanted to be on their good side while he was in their custody.

"Funny you should ask that." Edison's head whipped to the side, taking in the appearance of the tall, well-built man wearing a suit and tie. "I'll take it from here, Johnson."

"Yes, sir." The officer looked all too happy to leave his post.

"You were transferred here at my request." The thirty-something warden's confident, professional manner was drastically different from the older, fatherly previous warden Edison had dealt with.

"Do I know you?" Edison tilted his head, trying to place the man in front of him, but to no avail.

"No, but you do know a friend of mine. Get in your cell." The calm, nearly nonchalant tone of the warden didn't fool Edison. He could sense a storm brewing under the other man's seeming calm and was quick to enter the tiny cell. The door slammed behind him.

"Why did you request my transfer?"

"You'll learn soon enough." The warden left with a smirk on his face, Edison's slightly terrified expression warming his heart. A cell block over, Eric rapped his knuckles against the metal bars – drawing the occupant's attention. The older man looked up from his sitting position on the rough, twin-sized bed.

"Derrick, I have a proposition."

"What's that?" The man asked, cocking a salt and pepper eyebrow.

"I need you to make sure some information gets around about our newest inmate."

"And what do I get in return?" The question didn't surprise Eric. He had been anticipating Derrick's help – for a price.

"You've been wanting to be transferred closer to your family. To see your son again. You do this for me and I can make that happen."

"What information do I have to spread?" Eric glanced around before moving closer to the cell bars and lowering his voice, speaking in hushed tones.

"That sick son of a bitch." It still amazed Eric the code of ethics that even hardened criminals like Derrick followed.

"He did other things that he could use to gain some cred in here," Eric warned.

"That's not going to matter once they hear what that motherfucker did." Eric nodded – that had been what he had hoped to hear and he knew that if Derrick had anything to do with it, it would be true. There was just one thing left to be said.

"Don't do a thing to him. I don't give a damn what you can convince others to do, but you don't touch him. Not if you want that transfer." The other man nodded and the warden turned on his heel, ending the conversation.

* * *

"I've got it taken care of. I'll know more in a few days. You've got to give things some time to get moving." Fitz nodded along to Eric's words – turning his head to make sure Olivia was still in the bathroom.

"I don't want you to get in trouble, man." It felt like the thousandth time he had cautioned his friend, but he would feel awful if Eric lost his job or was prosecuted because of him. He thought Edison deserved what he had coming, but he knew that the choices he and Eric had made were long crossing the ethical threshold.

"Don't worry about me, Fitz. I can cover myself. Take care of Liv."

"I always have. Are we still on for next weekend?"

"Yep. Maria's been dying to meet Liv."

"Sounds good. I think Liv's out of the shower. I'll talk to you later."

"I'll keep you updated, man."

"Thanks." Fitz ended the phone call, turning toward his room. Olivia was already drying her hair when he entered the room. He laid his phone back on his nightstand, yawning.

"How's Eric?"

"He's good. He sends his love." Olivia smiled, tossing her towel into the laundry basket and climbing into bed with Fitz, snuggling under the warm sheets.

* * *

"You got a tattoo?" Maya eyed the ink on her daughter's wrist, raising a brow in her husband's direction.

"My baby girl is turning into a rebel," Eli winked, examining Olivia's wrist.

"I tried to talk her out of it," Fitz teased, lifting the last of their luggage into the back and closing the trunk.

"She looks like you've taken good care of her." Olivia blushed at her mother's comment as the two women climbed into the backseat.

"I want to start spending more time at his apartment," Olivia announced as the men slid into their seats in the front. She and Fitz had discussed the possibility of her moving in and she had decided that she wanted to take the steps toward that outcome.

"I'm sure you and Fitz have discussed this. Your father and I aren't going to tell you no." Fitz and Olivia shared a smile through the rearview mirror.

"How was your trip?" Fitz changed the subject.

"We loved it! We have so many photos to show you!"

"Thanks again for the trip, you two." Fitz nodded at Eli's words as Olivia said:

"We just wanted to do something special for you and mom."

"It was definitely special." Maya patted her daughter's hand.

"How has therapy been?"

"I've been going, if that's what you want to know, dad." It didn't shock her that her dad would question her commitment to her sessions. A few months ago, she would have taken the opportunity that her parents being out of town presented for missing her therapy sessions. Fitz had changed that about her.

"Good." Eli stared out the window, sounding about a million miles away. Olivia shrugged his tone off – he was probably tired. She listened to Maya's stories of her trip the rest of the way to her house. At the house, Olivia followed Maya inside as Fitz and Eli hung back to carry the luggage.

"I got a call while we were gone from the agent who worked Olivia's case," Eli announced, pulling his suitcase from the trunk.

"Yeah?" Fitz grabbed Maya's suitcase.

"Edison's been moved to a prison in Cumberland. Not only is he now in the same state, but he's only two hours away."

"Should we tell Olivia?" Fitz struggled to keep a straight face. From Eli's tone, he wouldn't be thrilled to hear of Fitz's involvement in bringing Edison to Maryland.

"I think it would be best if she doesn't know." Fitz nodded – he couldn't disagree with that. He had no intentions of explaining his plans to Olivia.

"That sounds like a plan."

 **Inside:**

"Did you have a good time with Fitz?" A wide grin spread across Olivia's face at her mother's question.

"I did."

"I haven't seen you this happy in so long." Maya grinned as a tear slid down her cheek.

"I don't know why I ever thought leaving him was a good idea.

"Because you were lost and trying to find your way. Luckily, the people who belong in our lives have a way of always coming back."

"I'm glad he came back." Olivia glanced out the window, watching her dad and Fitz talk.

"I'm glad he did, too."

 **Later that Evening**

 **Cumberland, FCI**

"That sick motherfucker." The group of inmates surrounding Derrick in the rec room all turned to stare at Edison. The new guy tried to avoid eye contact with the group – he knew better than to appear to challenge them. They already seemed to have it out for him anyway. Earlier, one of their group had spit in his food as he was serving it.

"What do you want us to do about him?" Derrick seemed to contemplate his response for a moment, taking that time to observe Edison. He thought that staying in the corner, to himself, would save him. Derrick almost wanted to laugh.

"Whatever the fuck you can think of."


	10. Song 3

_**A/N –**_ _ **As always, my beta, Tamarral is completely spectacular for proofing this for me. The poem near the end is an original poem written by my half-sister, who graciously allowed me to include it in this story, and is a very personal poem about her own experiences with abuse.**_

 _ **Damaged**_

 _ **Chapter Ten:**_

 _ **Song #3**_

"Hi Olivia," Eric grinned, entering Fitz's apartment and wrapping the tiny woman in a hug.

"Eric!" Olivia squeezed her arms tightly around him, smiling against his shoulder. "I've missed you!"

"I've missed you, too, Liv." Eric pulled back, kissing Liv's cheek and turning toward the quiet woman behind him. "This is my fiancée, Sabine."

"Hi." Suddenly, Olivia was shy, nervous in front of Eric's stunning fiancée. For her part, Sabine smiled at the petite woman in front of her and reached for her shoulders, air-kissing her cheeks.

"Olivia! It is a pleasure to finally meet you." She was taken aback by Sabine's accent. Fitz hadn't told her that Sabine was French.

"You, too. What part of France are you from?" Sabine smiled at Olivia's questioning, shaking her head ever so slightly and allowing her long, dark ponytail to bounce from side-to-side.

"I'm Belgian. It's a common mistake."

"I'm sorry."

"No worries!" Olivia gave Sabine a grateful smile as she stood to the side, allowing the couple to finally enter the apartment. Eric took Sabine's knee-length coat and hung it on the coatrack by the door – alongside his. Sabine straightened the emerald sweater dress she wore and followed Olivia to the kitchen, where the shorter woman checked the oven.

"Dinner will be ready in another fifteen minutes. The chicken is taking a little longer than was expected." Olivia reached for two wineglasses, her grey and green Pink varsity shirt rising enough to reveal the waistband of her leggings. She hadn't dressed up for the night – Fitz had assured her that it would be an entirely informal affair. After setting the stemless wineglasses on the counter, Olivia pulled the chilling chardonnay from the fridge. Uncorking the bottle, she poured some of the light-colored liquid into the glasses and set the bottle on the marble countertop. Handing a glass to Sabine, the two women clinked glasses before taking a sip.

"How long have you known Eric?" Sabine reclined against the countertop, her dark eyes studying Olivia.

"About six years, now. I was a bit of a jerk these past two years, though." Olivia sipped at the liquid in her glass, eyeing the oven. She _had_ been a bit of a jerk to Eric. He'd always been a great friend and then, after breaking up with Fitz, she had refused to answer his calls or messages. He was Fitz's best friend – she hadn't seen why he would consider remaining her friend.

"He mentioned that he hasn't seen you in a while." Olivia nodded, placing her glass on the countertop and pulling a pair of red oven mitts from a drawer.

"I was a little lost then." She slid the oven mitts over her hands and opened the oven, pulling the chicken from the heat and filling the room with the rich, intoxicating aroma of garlic. Sitting the glass pan on the counter, she turned the oven off and shut the stainless steel door.

"I'm going to let it cool for a few minutes before we eat."

 _ **Outside:**_

It hadn't been long after the two women had disappeared into the kitchen, that Fitz and Eric had excused themselves on the pretense of a smoke break – a nasty habit, Eric was inclined to admit, but a habit nonetheless. As the two men walked down the near empty sidewalk, it may have been six, but the early darkness and cold air had convinced most to take shelter in the warm confines of their homes, their conversation turned toward the dark topic of Edison Davis.

"How's he adjusting?" Fitz asked, as if they were discussing a new puppy.

"Not well. He's already had the privilege of solitary confinement."

"Acting out over the transfer?" Fitz dug his hands into his pockets, his breath catching in his throat as a blast of cold air hit him squarely in the face.

"No. He had a nasty little encounter with one of the other inmates. It seems a certain secret got out and the other inmates aren't too fond of the _baby killer_ in their midst."

"So you put him in solitary confinement?" Eric knew that the look of doubt that crossed Fitz's face was just the manifestation of his rage and the irrational thought process said rage contributed to.

"How long do you think it would be, Fitz, if I hadn't intervened, Edison was killed, and I was investigated for murder, conspiracy, and unethical conduct?" Fitz sighed. He knew that Eric was right. All protocol had to be followed least he run the risk of encouraging an investigation.

"I understand." He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and turned around – they had walked far enough from the apartment.

 _ **Inside:**_

"That was delicious, Liv!" Olivia smiled at Eric's compliment as she cleared the dishes from the table, disappearing in the kitchen with the stack. Moments later, she reemerged and took her place beside Fitz, reaching for her glass of water. While the boys sipped their scotch and Sabine her chardonnay, Olivia had opted for water. She was happy with the one glass she had had earlier and didn't want to concern Fitz by reaching for more.

"When is your wedding?" Olivia found her voice, smiling when she felt Fitz's hand close around hers under the table. She smiled as she stared at the table – recalling the convincing she had to do to get Fitz to agree to placing an actual table in his apartment.

"October. We'll be sending invitations soon," Eric answered. Olivia nodded, a small gasp of surprise escaping her lips when she felt Fitz's hand caress her thigh, hidden by the long, solid tablecloth. Her face burned with embarrassment – both at the sound she had made and what Fitz was doing.

"I accidentally stubbed my toe," she offered, biting her lip as Fitz's hand moved higher, brushing against the warm heat emanating from her center. Sabine and Eric nodded their heads – seeming to accept her explanation.

"How have you been, Liv?" Eric's questioning held a double meaning – it was so much more than a simple inquest of an old friend. He was asking how she was handling things – how she was recovering. Thinking for a moment, choosing her words carefully, Olivia glared at Fitz as he pressed three fingers demandingly against her core.

"I've been getting better," she answered, silently berating her body for betraying her as her legs fell apart for Fitz's touch through no conscious thought of her own.

"That's good to hear. Any thoughts about what you want to do?" Fitz moved his fingers faster, pushing harder against the small bundle of nerves hiding between her folds. Olivia focused on not allowing the looks of pleasure to cross her face. As her body slowly climbed toward release, she said the one thing that had been on her mind lately.

"I want to write."

"About your experiences?" Sabine questioned.

"Yes, and I've been thinking about visiting Edison." She had to bite her lip, hard, to keep from crying out when Fitz suddenly pulled his hand from her, leaving a deep ache. Both men eyed her with surprise and she suddenly felt compelled to explain herself. "I can't keep harboring this anger. I have to forgive him to move on."

"Not everyone deserves forgiveness."

"Eric's right." Fitz agreed with his friend, trying to determine where this line of thought had suddenly come from. Nearly everyone agreed that Edison didn't deserve Olivia's forgiveness.

"It's something I've come to realize thanks to my therapy sessions." Fitz nodded, making a mental note to discuss the topic with Eli later. Unsure of how to continue the conversation, Fitz was grateful when Sabine gave them an out.

"What is it that you do, Fitz?"

"He's an attorney," Olivia answered, moving her hand to grasp Fitz's under the table. Keeping the warm, loving smile on her face, she tugged his hand, pulling him back to the warm heat nestled between her thighs. She had never acted so wantonly before, but his actions from earlier had left her feeling unfulfilled.

"Is that how you and Eric met?"

"We actually went to high school together. I used to have a thing for his sister. Man did he hate me for that," Eric chuckled, sipping his scotch.

"You make it sound so innocent." Fitz laughed.

"It wasn't?" Sabine questioned.

"I was a perfect gentleman." Eric shrugged.

"The hell you were."

"Hey now." Fitz and Eric's laughter echoed throughout the room. The two women shared a smile, amused at the friendly moment between the two men in their lives.

"What happened?" Olivia inquired, trying not to show disappointment that Fitz had pulled his hand away and placed it on the table. Part of her wondered why he suddenly had no desire to touch her although her rational mind told her that he probably had a reason. Maybe she hadn't hid her emotions as well as she had though and Sabine or Eric had caught on – that thought alone caused her cheeks to burn.

"Eric, here, took my sister to prom, and later that night –"

"Let me interrupt by saying that I was a broke high school senior who didn't think about a hotel room for after."

"Wait. What?"

"They went back to his home … his room."

"Long story short, my mom was not amused and ended up kicking Clara out at two in the morning and my sister, who saw Clara as her rival, took pictures that she later hung in the school."

"That's terrible!" Sabine looked at her fiancé in shock.

"How did you two end up becoming friends?" Olivia leaned forward, curious about the answer to her question.

"Fitz didn't like Clara …"

"She was a bitch back then."

" – but he was her brother, so, of course he threw a few punches my way."

"I don't picture either one of you as fighters." Sabine giggled.

"Fitz knew how to throw a mean right hook." Eric rubbed his jaw as if remembering the feel of Fitz's anger.

"We didn't become friends until college."

"Luck had it that we went to the same school."

"This blockhead didn't even recognize me when we had English Comp together our second year," Eric rolled his eyes.

"I told you, you didn't make that big of an impression. Always cowering behind someone when you saw me," Fitz teased.

"I was afraid I'd have to kick your ass again." Fitz and Eric shared a laugh at that statement, complete with Fitz rolling his eyes.

"I'm glad you got past that." Olivia gave the two a heartwarming smile. Olivia threw a glance Fitz's way, silently rejoicing when he didn't pull his hand away as she placed hers on top of his.

"Speaking of getting past that part," Eric began, tossing a look at his fiancée, "Sabine is going to kill me if I don't get on with this. Will you be my best man?"

"Of course, man." A yawn escaped Sabine's mouth and she turned to Eric.

"It's getting late and we're supposed to meet your mother tomorrow."

"That's right." Minutes later, the couple was making their goodbyes with Sabine promising that she would be the one to drive them. After cleaning the dishes, Olivia and Fitz made their way to their bedroom. As they reclined against the pillows, Olivia decided to broach the topic of Fitz's sudden shying away earlier.

"Why did you pull your hand away?" She turned on her side, inquisitiveness with a hint of hurt shining her eyes.

"Things were getting a little difficult for me. I'm sorry," he chuckled, bringing a hand to her arm and tracing the graceful lines from her shoulder to her elbow. "We can continue now."

"Now that we won't have an audience?" she laughed, bringing a hand to his cheek.

"If I didn't know better, I'd think it excited you." He winked, slipping his finger under the strap of her nightgown and pulling, exposing one perfect, full breast. She gasped when he brought his hand to the exposed flesh, circling her already taut nipple. She arched her back, pushing her breast further into his hand and trying to encourage him to touch the part of flesh he had been actively avoiding.

For his part, Fitz smirked at her behavior. He knew he was driving her crazy, but he enjoyed seeing her reactions too much to stop. Slowly, he inched his finger closer to her already pebbled peak, smirking as she moaned. He chuckled when she brought a hand up to cup her breast, pushing his hand aside and rolling the elongated tip between her fingers.

"Hey now," Fitz gave her a quick peck before moving down her body and placing a warm kiss over her nipple, prying her hand away, "These are mine."

"Then do something with them," she gasped, closing her eyes and tossing her head back as his tongue circled the sensitive tip before he finally covered it with his mouth, suckling the tender flesh. She arched her back, pushing her breast further in his mouth. She cried out when he pulled back, a loud 'pop' echoing in the room. He feathered light kisses over her chest before standing from the bed and shimming out of his pajamas. Dropping them to the floor, he turned and helped Olivia pull her nightgown from her body.

"Fitz, please," Olivia pleaded as she lay back against the pillows. Fitz smiled, leaning down to kiss her. He could tell that she wanted him and was more than ready without any foreplay. He gritted his teeth, a low moan starting in his throat when she reached between them, grabbing his hard cock in her hand and guiding him to her center.

"Baby, this is going to be hard and fast," he warned, burying himself completely.

"I don't want slow," Olivia moaned, lifting her legs to wrap around his waist. Her heels digging into his well-toned ass spurred him to move faster. Olivia's breaths came in quick pants as his hard thrusts urged her to completion. Soon, Olivia was coming, her entire body shaking as Fitz continued to thrust into her, his own release overtaking him.

Releasing her grip on him, Fitz rolled to the side and pulled her into his arms, lovingly kissing the top of her head.

* * *

"Do you enjoy starting fights?" Eric questioned, entering the medical ward and taking in the bloodied sight before him.

"I don't start them," Edison grunted as the nurse cleaned the gash on his forehead.

"I never had these issues before you."

"Maybe you should talk to –"

"All have been outstanding inmates prior to your arrival," Eric shrugged, leaning against a tall filing cabinet. '

"Why do I get the feeling you don't like me?"

"I don't know why you believe I have any feelings toward you at all. You're just another prisoner."

"I want transferred."

"You were just transferred."

"I never asked to be."

"I'm not approving a transfer."

"They'll kill me."

"You're in solitary confinement for the rest of the week." Eric turned on his heel and left the room, silently relishing in the look of fear that crossed Edison's face.

* * *

"How have you been, Olivia?" Olivia relaxed on the sofa, crossing her ankles and looking at her therapist.

"I've been okay. I've been writing." A smile crossed her face at the admission. She had found comfort in her writing and was learning about herself in the process.

"Are you planning to publish anything?"

"Yeah," Olivia nodded enthusiastically, her ponytail swaying, "It's kind of like a memoir. I want to help other people who have been through similar experiences."

"That's admirable. Do you find that writing helps you cope?" The therapist crossed her legs, balancing her notepad on her knee. Olivia tilted her head, observing the jeweled earrings Doctor Clarke wore as she contemplated her response.

"I think so. It's easier to write about some things than speak about them. I wrote a poem if you want to hear it." The confidence in Olivia's voice had the therapist scribbling furiously on her notepad before nodding her ascent. Olivia rummaged in her bag, pulling a dark brown, leather-bound journal from the bag. Clearing her throat, she turned to a page halfway through the book and began reading:

"You took my innocence.

You took my smile.

My laugh became hollow.

My tears became friends.

You shattered my soul.

You broke me a thousand times.

My memories haunt me.

My nightmares won't leave.

But you didn't win."

Clearing her throat once more, Olivia closed the notebook and rested her hands on the cool leather.

"That was wonderful, Olivia. Do you have any more?" Olivia nodded, lifting the journal and holding it toward the doctor.

"I write them in this. You can read them if you want." Doctor Clarke nodded, grabbing the journal and tucking it under her own notepad.

"I'll return it next session."

"Thanks." Olivia took a deep breath, appearing to struggle with her words, "I've been thinking about visiting Edison. I feel like I need to forgive him."

"Do you believe that will make a difference in your ability to move forward?"

"I do. I can't forgive myself until I forgive him."

"That's a wise assessment, Olivia."

"I hope someday that Fitz will see it that way."

"He isn't supportive of the decision?"

"He doesn't understand my decision."

"He's only recently learned of the full scope of Edison's actions."

"You're right," Olivia nodded, glancing at the clock before shrugging into her coat, "He needs time."


	11. State of My Head

_**Damaged**_

 _ **Chapter 11:**_

 _ **State of My Head**_

" _We've been shot up, beat up by the fallin' of the arrows_

 _Yeah, I'm full of deep cuts right down to the marrow_

 _But there's no doubt we'll get out from the bottom of the barrel_

 _That's the state of my, state of my, state of my head" - Shinedown_

Fitz paced in front of Eli's closed office door. He knew he had to talk to Eli, but he was at a loss about how to approach the topic. Olivia's bombshell at dinner last week had left him with a sour taste in his mouth. How could she be contemplating visiting Edison in prison? After all he had to done to her, to _them_ , Fitz had figured that she would want to avoid the man at all costs. Taking a deep breath, he finally turned to the door and rapped his knuckles against the wood.

"Come in." Closing his eyes for a moment, Fitz worked up his courage before placing his hand on the doorknob and twisting. Stepping inside the warm office, he closed the door behind him and took the few steps that brought him before Eli's desk. Eli lifted his head from the stack of papers on his desk, his smile upon seeing his daughter's boyfriend quickly fading as he took in Fitz's agitated look.

"What's wrong? Where's Olivia?" Eli's eyes flickered toward the door as if he expected his daughter to come waltzing through the door. Fitz tried not to smile at the worry in Eli's voice – she would always be her dad's baby.

"She's with Abby. They're shopping." Eli nodded, the worry melting from his face. He turned his attention back to the papers before him, moving a red pen across the top one.

"What's going on?" Fitz scratched the back of his head as he tried to decide on the best way to broach the topic with Eli. If he knew Olivia's father, he wouldn't be happy about Olivia's decision to visit Edison, either. Finally, Fitz decided that the best way to tell Eli was to just get on with it and say the words.

"Olivia's decided she wants to visit Edison." The angry silence in the room was almost palpable. Eli's dark, hardened gaze was quick to find Fitz's.

"Why would she want to do that?" The soft tone of Eli's voice spoke volumes of his anger. Fitz knew that Eli typically was not a shouter. He could be remarkably calm with anger bubbling just below the surface.

"She heard that he was moved here and decided that she needs to speak to him to forgive him. Some therapy exercise."

" _Damn_ that woman," Eli cursed, dropping his pen onto the pile of papers and leaning back in his chair. "I hired her to _help_ Olivia. Not talk her into forgiving the person who caused these issues in the first place."

"I've tried talking her out of it."

"Thanks for telling me, Fitz. I'll try to think of some way to get her to see this is nonsense."

"There's more, sir." Fitz nervously crammed his hands into his pant pockets, feeling as if he were back in elementary and standing before his principal, about to be accused of some devious crime.

"Fitz, I've told you before that you don't have to call me 'sir'." Eli tilted his head, eyeing the younger man before him and the anxiousness that surrounded him.

"Sorry," Fitz half-smiled before allowing the words to tumble from his mouth, "Edison was transferred to Cumberland because of me."

"I don't understand."

"When I heard that one of my best friends was going to be the warden at Cumberland, I asked him to pull a few strings. He got Edison transferred."

"Why would he do that?" Eli's slightly patronizing tone was better than Fitz had hoped for. At the least, he thought Eli would have thrown him out by now. He never expected him to listen.

"I thought Edison had gotten off too easy. I asked Eric to make sure that wasn't the case."

Eli nodded slowly, leaning back in his chair and clasping his hands. He rested his index fingers against his lips as he thought. "You realize that your friend and yourself have participated in quite a few ethical breaches and potentially a few legal ones as well?"

"We do," Fitz swallowed hard, his heart beating faster. This was the moment he had been most afraid to reach. Eli's decision here could effect his entire life. Either he would yell and force Fitz from his home as well as Olivia's life prior to tipping the police off on his admission or Eli would let it slide. Fitz prayed it was the latter.

"I can't say I wouldn't do the same, son," Fitz breathed a sigh of relief at Eli's words, "Have you at least covered your tracks?"

"We believe so, sir." Chuckling, Eli stood from his seat and walked around his desk, slapping Fitz's back before heading toward the locked liquor cabinet in the corner. Pulling his key ring from his pocket, he found the tiny key that unlocked the cabinet and slid it into the lock, twisting.

"Am I ever going to convince you not to call me that?" Fitz smiled as Eli pulled a crystal decanter of Scotch from the cabinet and two crystal glasses. Pouring a small amount in each glass, Eli replaced the stopper and put the decanter back in the cabinet, shutting and locking the door.

"Sorry, again." Fitz accepted the glass from Eli and took a small sip, wincing at the strong taste.

"Does my daughter know?"

"No." Fitz took a gulp of the liquor, his eyes watering at the burning sensation sliding down his throat.

"May I suggest you tell her before she learns from someone else?" Fitz nodded – Eli had a valid point.

* * *

"How was shopping?" Fitz questioned from his place on the couch, watching reruns of _The Walking Dead_. He still had to catch up on the latest season, but Olivia would kill him if she watched it without her. She was as into the show as he was.

"Abby and I had fun. Wait here! I've got a surprise for you," she winked, disappearing into their bedroom and slamming the door. Fitz chuckled at her enthusiasm. It was good to see her smile. Her heard her dropping bags on the floor – not surprising, her arms had been laden with the things when she'd walked in. He was surprised she hadn't collapsed under the weight.

Muting the television, he turned at the sound of the bedroom door opening. His jaw fell open at the sight that greeted his eyes. Olivia stood in the open doorway, a sheer, crimson corset and barely there lace thongs gracing her gorgeous body. Her voluminous breasts threatened to spill over the top of the corset. Fitz groaned as she slowly spun around, leaning against the doorframe and bending slightly, pushing her ample bottom out. He felt his cock stirring at the image. Slowly, she inched toward him, drawing his attention to her legs and the black stilettos she was sporting on her feet. It was a tantalizing view. He moaned loudly when she slung a leg over his waist, straddling him on the sofa and slowly grinding herself against him.

"Someone's excited," she giggled, adding extra emphasis as she swirled her hips. His hands moved to her hips, gripping tightly as she continued her sweet, sweet torture. She smirked, bending her lips to his neck and alternating between sucking and nipping at the sensitive skin there. He grinned, knowing that she was most likely leaving several love bites on his skin. His hands travelled from her hips to her ass, squeezing the perfect round globes that her thong left exposed to him.

"You are so damn sexy," he whispered as she brought her lips to his, sucking hard on his bottom lip. She pulled back from the kiss, abruptly, and stood from his lap. He started to protest as she knelt before him, moving her hands to his zipper and tugging on the small, metal piece. Pulling his zipper down, she unbuttoned his jeans and reached a hand inside, thankful that he wore boxers. Pulling him from the confines of his pants, she gave him a mischievous grin as she licked her full lips, slowly lowing her mouth and kissing the tip of his cock.

"Fuck, Liv." His hands found their way to her hair, cradling her scalp as she took him into her mouth. He tried to focus on something other than the sight of his aching dick slipping between her cherry red lips. Her eyes watered as he tightened his hands in her hair to an almost painful point when she took him as far as she could and swallowed. His hips bucked in rhythm with her talented mouth. With a loud 'pop', she pulled him from her mouth and ran her tongue along the underside of his painfully hard shaft.

"Liv, baby," Fitz practically whined, clearing his throat in an attempt to cover the shrill sound of his voice. That didn't stop her from smirking against him before finally releasing him from her torturous ministrations and standing. She moved a hand to the side of her corset and began undoing it, allowing the skimpy material to fall to her feet and reveal her voluminous breasts to his gaze. Keeping eye contact with him, she slowly slid the skimpy thong down her legs to join the corset.

"Leave them on." She grinned at Fitz's command, standing and abandoning her efforts of undoing her heels. Moving back toward the sofa, she placed a leg on either side of Fitz, allowing her knees to sink into the soft, grey cushions. Placing her hands on his shoulders, she held herself slightly above him – just barely touching him. The light touch had them both moaning in anticipation of more.

"You're killing me, babe," Fitz complained, moving his hands to her hips and helping her lower herself onto his lap.

"You feel so fucking good," she groaned, resting her forehead against his as she felt him stretching her to the limit. A grunt was her only response as he slowly lifted her, slamming her back into his lap. The sound of their skin slapping filled the room, drowning out the sound of the television, and a light sheen covered their skin. Olivia dug her nails into Fitz's shoulder, trying to gain more purchase to move faster. After a few minutes of that, Fitz managed to stand, quickly flipping them so that her back was resting on the sofa as she wrapped her legs tightly around his waist.

"Fitz … Yes … Please," she begged as he sped up his thrusts, the new position allowing him deeper thrusts. Her hands moved to his hair, tangling in his curls. He moved a hand between their bodies, quickly finding the small bundle of nerves that he knew would send her over the edge. With a few flicks of his talented fingers, she was coming fast and hard around his pulsating dick. The feel of her nails raking down his back had him following not soon after with a cry of her name.

"That … was … amazing," he panted, resting his body gently above hers. She brushed his hair from his eyes, glancing down at his head resting against her breasts.

"You liked your surprise?" She giggled.

"It was one hell of a surprise."

"There's more, too." She laughed when he raised his head quickly, an excited look on his face.

"One night at a time," she admonished, wrapping her arms around him and letting her eyes drift closed.

"Fine," Fitz agreed, returning his head to the comfortable position between her two, incredibly soft mounds and allowing his own lids to drift shut.

* * *

"Good morning, sleepyhead," Fitz grinned down at Olivia, placing a kiss on the tip of her nose. Yawning, she stretched and slowly opened her eyes.

"Did we really sleep on the sofa?" She asked, sitting up and placing her feet on the floor, noticing that at some point Fitz had taken her heels off.

"Yes we did and I made you breakfast." She smiled at that, standing and moving into their bedroom where she grabbed her red satin robe, pulling the short material over her body and securing the long sash. Moving back into the living room, she headed for the plate Fitz had placed on the island. Situating herself on the barstool, wincing only slightly at the cold feel of the wood, she picked her fork up and dug into her scrambled eggs.

"Fitz, I think we need to talk about Edison." She slowly swallowed her eggs, watching as Fitz moved around the kitchen and poured a glass of orange juice.

"What is there to talk about?" He questioned, placing the orange juice carton in the refrigerator.

"My decision to forgive him." Sighing, Fitz turned around to face her.

"I can't forgive him, Liv. He took everything from me and he hurt you."

"The only way to move on is to forgive, Fitz." She slowly took another bite of her food, watching him carefully for his reaction.

"There is more than one way of moving on." Scrunching her brows at that, she mulled over his words. After a moment, she found her words.

"Fitz? Are you the reason Edison was transferred? I know Eric is the warden at Cumberland."

Taking a deep breath, Fitz answered, "Yes."

"Why?"

"He was friends with the warden at his old prison. It wasn't really a prison to him, Liv."

"So you asked Eric to have him transferred to what? Teach him a _lesson_?"

"Yes."

"So, Eric knew what he was doing when you asked him?"

"Yes."

"And you both are risking your careers, your _freedom_ , because you think he should be taught a _lesson_?"

"Yes." Slowly, Olivia nodded her head and went back to eating in silence. Fitz stood, watching her in uncomfortable silence as she finished her breakfast. When she finally finished eating, she stood from her seat and placed her plate in the sink.

"Liv?"

"I need some time to think, Fitz." He watched as she walked out of the room and headed to their bedroom, shutting the door behind her. Sighing, Fitz reached for his phone and began dialing.

"We fucked up, man," he said after the third ring.

* * *

"Olivia, this is a surprise." Olivia walked into her therapist's office, taking a seat in the leather chair across from the desk.

"Do you have time?"

"Yes." Olivia nodded at that, fidgeting with a string on her sweatshirt as she considered what to say next.

"I talked to Fitz this morning about forgiving Edison."

"And what did he say?" She sighed, relieved that her therapist didn't seem to be writing her every word for once. It was nice to feel like she was actually listening.

"That he doesn't see how forgiving Edison would change anything."

"I told you, Olivia, it takes time to reach this stage. Not everyone is ready to forgive quite so soon. It may help if Fitz were to see a therapist of his own."

"I don't think he'll be open to it, but I'll talk to him about it." She sat quietly for a couple moments, trying to decide how best to form her next question. "Can I ask you a question?"

Doctor Clarke looked taken aback by Olivia's bluntness, but nodded her head. "What would you do if someone you knew did something that endangered their career and could, possibly, send them to jail?"

Narrowing her eyes, Doctor Clarke remained quiet for a moment. "Olivia, you do know that I am required to report any illegal activity you inform me of."

"I know. Hypothetically, speaking."

"I would talk to them about it. Unless you feel threatened. Get their side of the story." Nodding her head, Olivia gave a half-smile before standing and extending her hand. Slowly, the doctor shook her hand.

"Thank you, Doctor Clarke."

"I'll see you Thursday, Olivia."

* * *

"Is it too late to transfer him back?" Fitz questioned, he had waited until he heard the shower running before delving into his conversation with Eric.

"Just a little. Why the sudden change of heart?" Eric's voice was a little strained as it came across the line, but Fitz was too preoccupied with Olivia's sudden onslaught of questioning to notice.

"Olivia figured out what we did." The line went silent for a moment or two as Fitz began pacing the small kitchen.

"She wouldn't tell anyone would she?"

"No, but it doesn't mean she isn't pissed at me."

"I can't transfer him anywhere, Fitz."

"Why not?"

"Because he's in a medically induced coma. They don't know if he'll make it."


	12. Behind Blue Eyes

**A/N -** **I know that The Who were the original artists for Behind Blue Eyes, but I prefer the Limp Bizkit cover (Fred Durst's voice fits the emotion of the song better). I want to give a huge, huge shoutout to ScandalOnica for her lovely reviews that have spurred my inspiration to write.**

 **Damaged**

 _ **Chapter Twelve:**_

 _ **Behind Blue Eyes**_

" _No one knows what it's like_

 _To be the bad man_

 _To be the sad man_

 _Behind blue eyes_

 _And no one knows what it's like_

 _To be hated."_

 _~ Limp Bizkit_

"Are you sure?" Fitz whispered, glancing around the kitchen entranceway, making sure that Olivia hadn't somehow managed to sneak in there without him seeing. It had taken weeks of grovelling and arguments before she had finally managed to forgive him for having Eric request a transfer for Edison. She wasn't going to be in a great mood when she heard the latest developments in what had been a continuing nuisance for the two men.

"I was there when they handed me the papers, Fitz. His mom is suing." Eric ran a hand through his hair, tossing his dark locks.

"You or the prison?"

"Does it matter?" he sighed, vigorously rubbing the back of his neck. "She filed a wrongful death suit. They _will_ investigate."

"It does matter. It's easier for things to get buried if they're looking at the whole prison."

Eric stuffed his hand in his pocket, digging around for a moment before producing a cigarette, stuffing the end between his lips. He wouldn't light it inside, Fitz knew that; it was there to comfort him. "You're already giving legal advice?"

"I can't be your attorney," Fitz crossed his arms, "But I can give you the tools to take to your attorney that will help you win. To keep your job and reputation."

"Do I deserve that?" Eric's eyes flashed and his voice cracked, "We knew before we started this what the outcome was going to be - we took justice into our own hands instead of trusting the justice system. The system we're both sworn to uphold." The loud, ringing sound of skin connecting with wood echoed throughout the apartment. Eric rubbed his hand, the tender flesh already turning an angry shade of red. A grimace crossed Fitz's face at the sound of the shower shutting off - Olivia would be out to question the noise.

"I don't regret what we did." Both men turned their attention to the bedroom door as it opened. Olivia stood in the doorway, a towel wrapped tightly around her body, and glanced from Fitz to Eric.

"Are you guys okay?" she asked, spitting a stray strand of hair from her mouth.

"Eric hit his hand," Fitz offered as the other man raised his hand to meet Olivia's inspecting gaze.

"Why did Eric hit his hand?" Olivia inquired. Fitz cleared his throat - nodding at the, "Well?", look Eric tossed his way. They might as well tell her. She would eventually find out and there was no point in repeating their weeks' long argument once more.

"Edison's mom is suing the prison," Eric stated, actively avoiding Olivia's gaze.

"Both of you promised me that you had nothing to do with that." Olivia tossed her hands in the air, a frown marring her features. Fitz's quick reaction was all that kept her towel from tumbling to the floor at her sudden movement. Taking the ends of the towel from Fitz's hands, Olivia tightly tucked the towel back into place.

"Directly, we were not involved," Fitz assured her, "Indirectly, they can make it look like we were involved."

Shaking her head, Olivia turned back toward the bedroom, "I'm going to get dressed. Then, I want to know the truth. Enough riddles."

The two men idled in the living room, avoiding conversation as they waited on Olivia. It wasn't long before she reemerged, dressed in a pair of black shorts and one of Fitz's football jerseys. With effort, Fitz tore his gaze from the beautiful sight and scooted on the soft sofa, patting the now empty space closest to Olivia. She took a seat, perching on the edge.

"After I got Edison transferred," Eric began, taking a deep breath, "I spoke to one of the inmates and gave him information about Edison…"

"And that's why they attacked him." Olivia filled in, shaking her head. "I hate to say I told you so."

"I know, Olivia, believe me, I know. But I'm still not going to say I'm sorry for what I did."

"Let's not rehash that argument," Olivia sighed, standing and pacing in front of the sofa, "What are you going to do, Eric?"

"I can't tell the truth, Liv."

"Of course, not."

"I don't know."

"Fitz will help," she turned with wide eyes to look at the man on the sofa, placing a hand on his arm, "You will help, won't you?"

"I'll do everything I can."

/

"Hi, Olivia." Olivia gave a half-hearted smile as she settled into her usual seat across from her therapist. Sliding on the dark leather, she settled into the comfortable cushions, lacing her fingers together over her crossed knees.

"How have you been?" Olivia pursed her lips as she considered her response. She had been better, that was for sure. She had managed to navigate her arguments with Fitz without resorting to her old behaviours and her nightmares had all but stopped. Still…

"It could be better," she finally responded, "I have a lot on my plate right now."

"Such as?"

She opened her mouth, but was quick to clamp it shut. She had to be careful how she phrased her thoughts. The last thing she wanted was for Eric or Fitz to get into trouble - even if she hadn't agreed with what they had done. Speaking slowly as she chose her words thoughtfully, she began, "Fitz and I had some arguments recently over the choices a friend of ours made. Fitz supports what he did, but I think he made a mistake. Now, he could get in trouble for that mistake."

"And that worries you?"

"Of course it worries me! He's not a bad guy and he really thought he was helping his friend. He shouldn't be punished for that." She moved her hands from her knees, tracing a small rip in her jeans.

"I'm impressed," the therapist stated, scribbling on her legal pad, "Do you want to discuss your arguments with Fitz?"

"Strangely, our arguments worried me the least."

"And why is that?"

"They felt normal. Not that arguing is normal, but it does happen…"

"You were able to work things out?"

"Yeah. We were. Without screaming or refusing to talk." She fell silent as she contemplated her arguments with Fitz. They had started after he had told her about asking Eric to transfer Edison and had only escalated with Edison's hospitalisation and eventual death. She had considered walking away, convinced that he was no better than Edison. It had taken her father's intervention before she was able to separate Eric and Fitz's deeds from Edison's.

"There haven't been any other problems? Your arguments have stopped?"

"We've come to an understanding. Yeah," Olivia nodded, watching as the doctor once more scribbled some notes.

"And you're still living together? Well…" The older woman started to backtrack. Olivia chuckled, knowing why her therapist was attempting to amend her words. For the longest time, Olivia had been insistent that she and Fitz were not living together. She hadn't wanted to put a label on what they were doing.

"We made it official. We're living together." She didn't bother trying to hide the smile that crossed her face. Even with everything that was happening, she was happy. Insanely happy. It finally felt like things were looking up for her.

"How have your parents reacted?" Maya tended to be overprotective when it came to her daughter. It had been the source of Olivia's complaints for the longest time. When she had first started therapy, she had said that at times, she felt stifled by Maya. After moving back into her childhood home, she had been given a curfew and Maya had refused to let her spend even one waking second alone.

"Relieved. Their wedding's in a couple weeks and I think dad's just happy to have the house to himself again."

"You have made a considerable amount of progress, Olivia. I think it's time we begin to lower the amount of weekly sessions. Once a week on Tuesday will suffice."

"That sounds good."

/

"Ugh. She's lucky she's my mother and I love her," Olivia complained, frowning at her reflection. The burgundy of the gown didn't compliment her complexion as well as she would have liked and certainly wouldn't have chosen the colour for her own wedding. This was her mother's special day, though - not hers.

"Did you go to any of the fittings?" Abby wondered, shoving a curl from her eyes.

"Every single one. I can't help that some of us are less fortunate than others," Olivia shrugged, adjusting her bodice for what felt like the hundredth time. Every time she moved, it felt like her breasts were going to come tumbling out.

"This isn't exactly fortunate," Abby giggled, gesturing toward her own flat chest.

"At least your gown stays in place." The two women shared a laugh as Abby attempted to adjust Olivia's gown, trying to keep it from moving.

"What have you been up to? You've been MIA lately."

"Just getting settled into the apartment." She felt bad for keeping the whole story from Abby, but she didn't want to drag her best friend into the mess revolving around Fitz and Eric.

"I hate that I never see my best friend anymore."

"I hate it, too, Abs. You'll have to come over for dinner sometime." Olivia turned toward the mirror, fusing with her hair. She had been unsure about the half-up, double top knots her hairdresser had insisted on for the wedding - almost as unsure as she had been about the sapphire highlights. She had gone into the salon expecting box braids like she had gotten plenty of times before and had come out with a unique style that had definitely bolstered her confidence.

"Are you girls ready?" The two women turned at the sound of Maya's voice. Olivia smiled at her mother. Maya looked beautiful in her white, off-the-shoulder ballgown - an older, more mature version of her daughter. Olivia had heard the stories of her parents' first marriage. They had both worn jeans and a t-shirt to a grocery store in Tennessee where a local judge married them. Maya deserved to have the wedding of her dreams this go around.

"You look beautiful, mom," Olivia smiled, handing Maya a bouquet of rose gold and white roses before taking her smaller, matching version from Abby.

"Eli isn't going to know what hit him," Abby winked, following Maya and Olivia from the room. Maya snorted at Abby's comment. At the large, closed doors at the entrance to the backyard, Maya stopped and peeked around the curtains. They hadn't invited many people - mainly close friends and family.

Abby swung the doors open as the traditional Bridal March began playing. She led the procession down the aisle, followed by Olivia. The guests all turned to watch the girls, eagerly awaiting the bride. Maya began her slow walk down the aisle once the two girls were situated across from Eli's groomsmen.

Olivia's eyes began watering at the teary expression Eli held on his face upon lifting Maya's veil. It was a long, winding road that led her parents to where they were and it couldn't have had a happier ending. She turned her attention toward the priest, squinting in the bright sunlight, as he began speaking:

"O God, who consecrated the bond of Marriage…"

/

"Olivia!" Olivia turned at the shout from her grandmother. She gripped Fitz's hand, dragging him away from the platters of food, and led him toward the elderly woman sitting in a motorised wheelchair.

"Nana!" Olivia grinned, dropping Fitz's hand as she bent to embrace the older lady. Straightening back to a standing position, Olivia grasped Fitz's hand in hers once more.

"Nana, this is my boyfriend, Fitz." She hadn't gotten around to introducing the two the first time she and Fitz had been dating.

"So this is the infamous man who brought that smile back to my little girl's face." Fitz chuckled as the older woman ignored his extended hand, yanking him down to her level and wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Nice to meet you -" Olivia hadn't told him her grandmother's name.

"Nana. That's what all these young-'uns calls me," The older lady's eyes twinkled as she released Fitz, "And who knows? Maybe I will be family soon?"

"Nana!" Olivia shook her head, wrapping her arm around Fitz's, "We're going to dance now." She dragged Fitz toward the crowded dance floor. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she rested her head against his chest as his hands came to rest on her hips. The couple swayed to the music, remaining on the dance floor for a few songs before following the crowd outside where they were saying their goodbyes to the bride and groom.

"Go! Have fun. I'll be okay, mom." Olivia tried escaping her mother's embrace, pushing her gently toward the waiting car. Her parents were supposed to leave right after the reception for their honeymoon. Maya was having a hard time leaving Olivia, though.

"Are you sure you'll be fine?"

"Fitz is here with me. He won't let me get into trouble."

"Well, only the fun kind," Fitz winked, inching between Maya and the red convertible to open the car door for her as an impatient Eli called from the driver's seat:

"Fitz will watch her like a hawk. Let's go before we miss our flight!"

"I'll see you in a week, Liv." Maya placed a kiss on Olivia's cheek before turning and sliding into the car, tucking her dress in before Fitz shut the door behind her.

"Bye, Liv," Eli called across Maya.

/

"Are you still working?" Olivia questioned, entering the living room to find Fitz reclined on the sofa, a stack of papers and legal pads surrounding him. She frowned at the sight of the law books piled high on the coffee table.

"Trying to find something that'll help Eric." Fitz sighed, rubbing his face before returning to the piece of paper before him. Taking a deep breath, Olivia eased herself onto the sofa beside him, tilting her head as she eyed the writing in his hands.

"When does the trial start?"

"Next week." She rolled her eyes, standing and heading into the kitchen. Returning with two glasses, she handed Fitz the glass of Scotch before sipping at her water. He grimaced as he sipped his drink, setting it on a coaster.

"How screwed is he?" She sat her drink beside his, waiting on his response.

"I don't know." She frowned - she hadn't heard Fitz sound so defeated before. Grasping the paper from his hand, she laid it atop his others before tossing her leg across his lap and placing her hands on his shoulders.

"You need some rest." She laid her forehead against his.

"I _need_ to help Eric. I got him into this mess." His hands came to rest on her hips.

"You're no help to him when you're tired. Let's go to bed. You can start again in the morning." Fitz sighed, leaning his head against the back of the sofa and closing his eyes.

"What if he can't get out of this, Livvie? I'm the one who asked him to get involved in the first place."

"You'll figure something out. I _know_ you will. Don't beat yourself up over this, babe."

Slowly popping one eye open, he raised his head, "Let's go to bed."

/

"Why am I wearing this thing again?" Fitz complained, pulling at the collar of his white button-up shirt.

"Because my nana would complain if you _weren't_. Who would think that a lawyer would complain about wearing a suit." Olivia rolled her eyes, turning so that Fitz could zip the nude, ruffle-sleeve dress she was wearing.

"Why are we going to church anyway?" He watched as she slid her black heels onto her feet.

"Because my nana wants us to go."

"We couldn't have suddenly had plans?" He froze at the look she tossed over her shoulder.

"Relax," she tugged on his hand, pulling him toward the door, "It's just church."

"Something I haven't been to in years, Liv."

"Just do what I do." She whirled around on her heels, standing on her toes to place a soft kiss against his lips. He took a deep breath, preparing himself for the next hour of hell - there really was nothing he wouldn't do for her.


	13. The Middle

_**Damaged**_

 _ **Chapter Thirteen:**_

 _ **The Middle**_

Yawning and rubbing at her eyes, Olivia fumbled for the doorknob, twisting the cold metal and throwing the door open. Stepping into the living room, her eyes adjusted to the dim lighting and her ears took in the sound of gunfire. Turning her head, she noted the images of men in suits exchanging gunfire. Shrugging, she walked past the sofa where Eric lounged with a controller in his hands, furiously commanding the men on the television screen. Sabine was out of the country and Eric had asked to crash with Olivia and Fitz. He had been placed on paid administrative leave and he didn't want to be alone in his home.

Entering the kitchen, Olivia headed to the coffeemaker. Popping her flavour of choice into the machine, she placed a mug under it and pressed the brew button. She hummed to the dripping beat of the warm liquid pooling into the mug, tapping her foot as she waited impatiently. Retrieving her mug, she sipped on the bitter, blueberry flavoured liquid and reached absentmindedly for the paper on the island, frowning when her hand collided with the cool tile instead of the crisp front page of the local newspaper. Frowning, she glanced around the kitchen only to come up empty-handed. Then she remembered. They were picking jurors for Eric's trial today. That was sure to have made the front page. Fitz had probably thrown the paper away or taken it to work with him so Eric wouldn't have to see what was written.

Wrapping both hands around the warm mug, Olivia returned to the living room and perched herself on the end of the sofa opposite Eric. He spared a small nod and tight-lipped smile before returning to his video game, leaving Olivia to place her coffee on the table and reach for her laptop. Opening the laptop and signing in, she pulled up the last page she had been working on of her novel. She had promised Fitz the night before that she would keep an eye out for Eric and if he was going to sit on the sofa and play video games, she may as well be productive. Aside from the occasional gunfire from the television and frustrated swearing from Eric, their morning passed relatively quietly. Olivia hit a few snags here and there on her novel: who would have known that writing about something so personal would be so difficult?

Around noon, Olivia closed her laptop. Placing the computer on the coffee table, she stood from her seat and stretched. She shivered a little at the cool air that touched her exposed midriff, lowering her arms so that her sweatshirt met the waistband of her shorts once more. Fitz liked to turn the AC down as low as he could and she had learned long ago to be more selective about picking her battles - so she bundled up more when she needed to. Pulling her hair tie from her wrist, wincing at the deep line it had made in her skin, she flipped her hair over, pulling it up in a loose bun before straightening herself.

"What do you want for lunch?" she asked.

"Hadn't thought about it," Eric mumbled, biting his lip and pressing furiously on the buttons of the controller. Olivia rolled her eyes, shaking her head.

"I'll go find something."

"Will you bring me a soda?"

Sighing, she entered the kitchen, pulling a Coke from the refrigerator and taking it back to Eric. At least he thanked her. Collecting the empty bottles on the table, she carried them back to the kitchen and threw them away. She wanted to hope that all of the bottles had been from the night before, but she wasn't naive enough to believe that Eric hadn't been drinking before she had woken up. Even if he had asked her for a soda for appearances' sake.

Opening and closing cabinets, she all but made a complete mess in the small kitchen before finally deciding on loaded nachos. They were easy enough to make and it was one of the few things they had ingredients for. She really needed to go shopping. While the beef was sizzling on the stovetop and the tomatoes, garlic, lettuce, avocado, and jalapeños chopped and ready, she pulled the magnetic grocery list from the stainless steel door and sat the island, pen in hand. She jumped when the phone began ringing - she had almost forgotten that Fitz still had a landline. No one ever called them on it. Standing from the stool, she grabbed the phone from its charging station by the coffee pot.

"Hello?"

"Hey Liv."

"Mom!" Olivia smiled, grabbing a spatula and moving to the stove.

"What have you been up to? You move in with your boyfriend and suddenly the calls are less and less frequent. And we won't even mention the last time I actually saw you!"

"I've been writing and hanging out with Eric today."

"They're picking the jury for his case today, aren't they?"

"Yeah. I promised Fitz I would look out for him."

"Did you ever hear if they were actually charging him?"

"The wrongful death suit is against the prison, but…" Olivia trailed, using her shoulder to hold the phone to her ear as she flipped the beef in the pan. Maya knew the whole story - Eli had shared it with her. Unlike Olivia, Maya was supportive of what Eric and Fitz had done from day one. She had been holding quite the grudge against Edison.

" _If_ they lose, they might look at Eric."

"And they would almost certainly fire him," Olivia sighed, laying the spatula on the counter (she was still trying to convince Fitz that they needed a holder for their cooking utensils) and used her hand to hold the phone once more.

"Your father and I are praying for you guys. Eric will get through this. I know you and Fitz will help him."

"We owe him that much. I feel like I'm party to blame for this."

"Olivia Carolyn Pope, you are _not_ to blame for this. Fitz and Eric made this decision on their own and you didn't even know about it until _after_ the fact."

"But…"

"No. No, but's. They made the decision because they care about you, but you did not force them to make the decision. And they would have done it for anyone they care about - not just you. That's who Eric and Fitz are, Liv."

"Thanks, mom," Olivia smiled, swiping at her eyes - when had they become wet? Shouldering the phone once more, she rummaged in the cabinet for a flat tray. "What have you and dad been into?"

"Getting used to being married again," Maya chuckled, "Your dad's team has tournaments this weekend. You and Fitz should come. It would make his day."

"When? Fitz and I are having lunch with his mom Sunday."

"The tournaments are Saturday. How is Helen?"

"Good, I assume." She hadn't seen Fitz's mother in years. Even before she and Fitz had broken up, she had only met the woman a handful of times. Less than a year into dating, Fitz's dad had been diagnosed with stage iv lung cancer - and Helen didn't travel much after that. She stayed in New York with Jerry.

Turning from the counter, she grabbed the bag of tortilla chips she had placed on the island, ripping the bag open and turning to the flat tray, emptying the bag. Jumping slightly and nearly dropping the phone, she frowned when she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her waist and the scratchy feeling of unshaved morning stubble when the man behind her kissed her cheek. Turning around, she grinned at the sight of Fitz, tie undone and hanging from his neck in two long, red silk strands, and his white button-up unbuttoned enough to show just the hint of chest hair.

"Hey beautiful," he whispered, pecking her lips before releasing her and turning to the food on the stove.

"I take it Fitz is there." Maya's cheerful, amused voice broke Olivia's concentration on the man in front of her. There was something so _homey_ about the whole scene unfolding in the kitchen.

"Yeah. I'll call you later."

"Bye Liv," Maya laughed, "I love you."

"I love you too, mom." Pulling the phone from her ear, she ended the call and returned it to its charging station. Leaning against the island, she watched Fitz move around the stove - flipping the burner off and draining the pan before emptying its contents over the tortilla chips. Placing the pan in the sink, he turned to Olivia.

"What do I do now?"

Tsking, she moved from the island and shouldered her way past him. Adding the extras that she had chopped earlier, she asked: "Can you grab the cheese?"

After handing her the cheese, Fitz moved around the kitchen - cleaning up Olivia's mess as she finished making the nachos. After the kitchen was cleaned, Olivia lifted the tray from the counter and waited for Fitz, carrying their drinks, to lead the way to the sofa. Olivia placed the tray on the coffee table and took the drinks from Fitz's hands, holding them while he moved the coffee table closer to the sofa. Putting the drinks on the table, Olivia waited for Fitz to settle into the sofa on the far end before settling into the seat beside him.

"Up for a game, man?" Eric asked, passing a controller to Fitz.

Fitz shared a look with Olivia before accepting the controller, "Olivia cooked."

"It smells great. Thanks, Liv."

/

"Do you think he'll be alright?" Olivia asked Fitz, hours later after Eric had finally passed out on the sofa. She wasn't so sure that he had actually slept the night before. At least he had decided to eat with them - scarfing down most of the nachos she had made by himself.

"Yeah. Especially once this blows over."

"Blows over? Did they decide to settle out of court?" She had been hoping that the prison would take that route. Normally that's what government owned facilities would do - according to Fitz. They typically didn't want the publicity.

"They're fighting it. Eric told them that Edison's death wasn't intentional and they're standing behind him."

"Is that a good thing?" Olivia peaked around the corner of their bedroom door, making sure Eric was still snoring softly.

"They're standing _by_ him. They believe that he's innocent." Fitz fell silent for a moment, his face twisting into a contemplative, far-off look before stating: "If you and Abby made a statement denouncing the lawsuit, it would help Eric's case."

"I can't ask Abby to make a statement about that Fitz. It wouldn't be fair. We _both_ want to put that behind us."

Fitz had the decency to look sheepish as he said: "Abby's already working on one."

"You _asked_ her?" Olivia all but shrieked, twisting from her post watching the sofa to stare at Fitz, arms crossed over her chest.

"It was her idea."

Olivia tilted her head, her mouth opening in a wide 'o'. She needed to talk to Abby. There was no way around it. The two friends hadn't had much time to speak in the weeks following Olivia's move to Fitz's apartment and the lawsuit against the prison. Abby had made a pretty big decision without consulting Olivia and that in itself made Olivia feel worse than any thought of writing a public statement. _Abby_ had made a huge, life-altering decision _without_ her. Was she losing her best friend?

"Liv, it's okay if you don't want to." Fitz mistook her silence for inner turmoil over the statement. He hadn't left much doubt about what choice he wanted her to make with the way he had phrased that question - and Olivia still struggled to tell others no. She was a people pleaser. Sometimes she had to be reminded that it was okay to do what she wanted - not what she thought someone else wanted.

"I'll think about it," she offered, lowering her arms, "Dad has soccer tournaments Saturday. Mom wants us to go."

"Sure," Fitz agreed, stepping forward tentatively to kiss her forehead. He couldn't be entirely sure that he had safely avoided an argument. It was best not to make fast movements. When she raised her arms to hug him, he knew that he was out of the woods.

"I'm going to work on some _lawyer_ things," he knew how much she hated all the legal talk - she wasn't interested and found it hard to follow, "and when Eric wakes up, I'll probably play some video games with him. If you want to go out with Abby."

"I'll see if she wants to do something." She stood on the tips of her toes, pressing her lips against his for a brief second before pulling away and edging toward the nightstand by the bed where her phone lay, charging. She watched as he shut the door, edging toward one of the dressers. As she picked up her phone, he pulled a drawer open and grabbed a pair of shorts. Dialling Abby's number, she tilted her head, biting her lip when he unzipped his dark dress pants, shoving them down his legs.

"Holy cow she lives!"

Olivia giggled at Abby's exclamation, her eyes still focused on Fitz as he yanked a pair of shorts up his body. "Hi Abs. What are you up to?"

"I'm trying to decide on something for dinner. Chinese is getting old."

"As good as you cook, you eat out a lot."

"Just because I can cook, doesn't mean I like it."

Olivia could nearly see Abby sticking her tongue out as she made that rebuttal, laughing at her friend. "Want to meet up? We could go to a movie after dinner."

"It's a date. Just don't tell Fitz - I wouldn't want to lose my job."

The two burst into mutual laughter at Abby's joke, making plans to meet at the Grille before hanging up. Olivia was quick to dress, pecking Fitz on the cheek before bounding out the door.

/

"I was starting to think Fitz had locked you away!" Abby exclaimed, throwing her arms around Olivia. For her part, Olivia took a deep breath - focusing on _not_ reacting to Abby's choice of words. As innocent as they seemed, to someone with Olivia's past, they weren't.

"He wouldn't do that," Olivia shrugged, patting Abby's back before relinquishing her.

"I have no clue what movie you want to see. There's some new horror movie and an action one. I don't think you'd like any of the others."

Olivia nodded - Abby knew her well. Sitting in the seat across from her best friend, she shook her head at the sight of the shrimp and fries at her seat. Abby had ordered for her. "Either one. I know you're normally not into horror movies."

"Doesn't matter to me," Abby shrugged.

Olivia shrugged in response, diving into the reason she had asked Abby for a girls' night: "Fitz said you were writing a statement about Edison's mom's lawsuit."

"Yeah." She said it like it was entirely normal. Like anyone would have chosen to write a statement and put themselves in the middle of the media circus surrounding the deceased man who had turned their lives upside down.

"He asked me to write one, too."

"And you are?"

"I haven't decided."

"You should."

"I really don't want to be dragged back into the past, Abs."

"Whether you like it or not, Liv, you will be. Eric's your friend. You're in the middle of this."

Frowning, Olivia pushed a fry around in ketchup. Abby was right. She was in the middle of this and there were going to be a lot of bad memories dragged out from the past. She and Abby would be forever intertwined with Edison and anything to do with him - and it didn't matter if they wished it weren't so. He had made that choice for them. Sighing, she popped a fry into her mouth - resolved to make the best of the rest of her night with Abby.

/

"Nice jeans," Fitz smirked, eyeing the ripped jeans Olivia was wearing as he held the car door open for her. Olivia giggled, sliding out of the car, she adjusted the _Wildcats_ jersey she had donned in support of her dad as Fitz closed the car door. She straightened her sunglasses, smiling to herself when Fitz slid a hand into the back pocket of her jeans, caressing her butt in the process. The couple walked across the soccer field to the bleachers. Maya was sitting on the front row. She was quick to stand when she saw the two and wave them to where she was.

"Hi mom." Olivia threw her arms around her mother in a tight hug before letting go and sitting beside her. Fitz fell into place beside Olivia, casually tossing an arm over her shoulders.

"Your dad's going to be excited that you two made it!"

"Like Fitz would miss a soccer match," Olivia giggled.

"Oh really?"

"I played in high school. I still love it."

"Does Eli know?"

"We've talked about it a few times."

"And no one told me?" Maya raised a brow in Olivia's direction, "I should know these things about the man who is practically my son."

"Mom!" Olivia admonished, shaking her head.

"It's true, Liv." Maya winked, patting Olivia's knee.

"You and Nana," Olivia sighed, glancing at Fitz out of the corner of her eye when he gave her shoulder a squeeze.

"Is it that bad thinking of me as family?" he whispered in her ear. In response, she scooted closer, resting her head on his chest. Squinting, she watched in silence as Eli and his team took to the field. Fitz pulled his arm from around her shoulders just long enough to clap after the team were introduced before returning his arm. Maya gave the couple a knowing smile, twisting her wedding band around her finger. Halfway through the match, Olivia excused herself to make her way toward the concession stand.

"Any plans to propose to her?"

Fitz whipped his head to the side, looking at Maya in shock. "Propose?"

"I assume you'll be doing it soon. You two had talked about it before, hadn't you?"

"I don't know if she's ready for that yet."

"Are you worried that she isn't ready or that _you_ aren't?"

"I think it's a bit of both. I want to ask her. I want to marry her. But now isn't the time. Not with the whole Eric thing. Olivia wouldn't want me to propose right now."

Maya sighed, standing to clap with the rest of the fans as Eli's team scored a goal, "You're probably right."

The rest of the game went by in a blur. Fitz was quick to point any errors out to Olivia as they were made and explain the game to her. She wasn't that familiar with it - she hadn't liked physical sports when she was younger, preferring the elaborate dance and movements of her gymnast routines. After, the three met Eli in the parking lot.

"I haven't seen you in weeks," Eli chuckled, releasing Olivia from the tight bear hug he had wrapped her in.

"Sorry, daddy."

"What have the two of you been up to?"

"Not much."

"We're pretty lazy," Olivia agreed with Fitz's statement.

"You're still going to therapy, aren't you?" Eli asked, raising a brow in Olivia's direction.

"Once a week."

"Once a week?"

"Doctor Clarke thinks that's all I need now."

"You're doing better then." It wasn't a question and Eli's soft smile was all Olivia needed to know that her father was proud of her. She tried, and failed, to keep the large smile from spilling across her face. Making her dad happy, _knowing_ she had made him proud, was all she could ask for.

"I am. I feel better," she paused, taking a breath as she said the words she had been too afraid to say aloud, "I'm happy."


End file.
